cassy

i'm totally family crazy.
does that make me weird?
i have some friends that have this amazing life, and i'm really envious, happy for them but that's the life i always wanted.
they have an amazing house, 3 cute kids (not perfect but theirs ya know)....and he works, she doesn't, and they are just amazing together. they are a great team...they are true parents, and they have a fantastic relationship, and i know it always looks all perfect on the outside, but it just makes me miss josh more and wish i had all these things with him.
i wonder if he'll ever want that with me again, like he once did.
today was a strange day. told my friend at work about some stuff she didn't know and talked about josh and him telling me how proud he is of me and how amazingly supportive of work he's been and how he's believed in me and stuff and all it's meant to me and i just couldn't hold back the tears. i really fucking miss him, and i guess we haven't really had a long conversation in about a week now so i am MISSING him more than usual. last night stupid skype wouldn't work properly...tonight he had parents dinner, and we were supposed to talk "later" but so far nothing. :/ i guess the reason he's not calling my cell anymore is b/c he never has reception at his place, which royally sucks. and i presume if he doesn't call me on skype he doesn't want to deal with that bullshit either. i HAVE to get a decent inet connection because i think it's hampering the one way we can spend time together...ugh.
okay i'm babbling, again.
tomorrow i'm taking bex to soccer game, should be fun, eventhough she hates it. she'll be fine. i finally finished watching all of gossip girl, it was awesome i watched a few episodes from this season in the background at work today while i was doing price changes, lol. anyhow...
hope you guys have a good weekend. hope i get to catch up with my love tomorrow.
cheers,
x0x0
cass