cassy

so yeah, sundays are always my downfall.
on the way home from my parents, josh calls, and i'm like oh yeah did you get those texts i sent earlier and he's like oh yeah (cuz they were sexy) and i'm like i'm kinda bummed you didn't respond back ALL DAY LONG ya know? and he's like well don't send them if they have strings attached. is that really strings? to acknowledge someone for sending you a text now is strings?
fuck.
so then he's like i didn't think you'd get pissed at me for not texting, and i'm like so not getting pissed, but maybe it seemed like it. so then he's like
"well i'm tired i think i'm gonna go to bed" (well it is like 11:40 his time), and i'm like aw, that was like a 5 minute conversation.

now realize i miss the FUCK out of this guy.
and ALL DAY i look forward to talking to him. so to get him on the phone for 5 mins sometimes i know i'm being a spoiled princess because i want more.
so tonight was one of those nights, paired with the text thing, and so he's like i being kinda aloof anyhow so he's like "i love you" and i'm like "no you don't" and he hung up on me.

*sigh*
so i start crying
in the car driving
love that.

i fucking hate having puffy eyes, haven't we had this conversation?

anyhow...
so i called, left voicemail, and then texted.
he texted me back and said
"if you're not going to believe me that i love you why should i say it" more or less (it was longer than that) and how he already said goodnight and he loved me...

so i feel somewhat better.
but i still feel like an overreactive jackass.
ugh.

anyhow...think i might write him an email, then go lay down and watch a movie, alone, again, my exciting life.

fuck this.