captblacktoe

inspire me, please. there has been such a long gap between my then and now that have forgotten to open my eyes, lately i have been seeing again not just seeing but really looking at everything, i forgot how beautiful the bent reflection found in handrails can be or how the curve in the speakers lips can remind me of drinking hot chocolate and kissing...
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back working in a shop, forgot how much i love tattooing. trying to move away from the piecing but if they want it they want it. i've been doing this for ten years and finally think ink is want i like more.

if i could be a fish i think i'd be a manaray. that's all for now

so she said that if i ever want to spend time by myself it means that i no longer like her and she is only good enough until something better comes along. does that make sense to anyone? i am totally crazy to think this line of thought is just plain nonsense? i mean she broke up with me and then i dared to say...
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so here i am, my relationship just ended ten minutes ago. what to do what to do. should i drink til i passout, should i draw until i can't see, should i unload all the shit i shouldbe saying to her here? maybe i should just stop, stop caring stop asking why, what or how. i know it has been unhealthy for the both of...
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my friend is doing anthropological research on the tattooed "community". how do you tell someone they know nothing about this and to fuck off because no matter what they say it will be wrong. there is no one community, and the voices she will choose the represent the whole will most likely be offensive and out of the norm of the people I agree with....
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i hate when i really want to update this but have nothing to say, or too much to say and don't know how to start. i already know everything i want to tell myself and no one else reads this so what is there to do? so how about6 a letter

capt,
you need to do something man, your shit is all up in the...
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my god i need to pee and someone's in the bathroom. what ever happened to chamber pots?

i think i like thinking that no one is reading this yet hoping someone will comment, it makes me feel pink. or maybe plaid yes plaid this journal make sme feel plaid.


a ditty
jesus sat and held a hammer
thinking shall choose my craft
to be the tool i use to damn her
break her kiss into shards
and stop living atop this house...
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where do we draw the line of how much is too much, do we give up or fight for what we say we have wanted? i ask this every day and every day i keep fighting. what scares me is that one day i won't have the energy to fight becaus ethere is times when i already don't fell like it, just feel like letting...
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OH MY GOD I AM BORED-----


I know of nooses
That would hug my throat more gently
Than this moment
When telephones have fallen silent
And curses hang still fresh on our lips
Hoping the others tongue will cut them free
This moment will echo in the lines
So every time I pick up receivers
Ill hear your voice
Screams slowing turning to whispered words...
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i've been applying to grad schools to prolong the escape from returning to life. there is nothing worse than having to write self promotion when you don't like to think about what you been doing.