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capncarrot3

Not the middle of nowhere, but you can see it from there.

Member Since 2006

Followers 7 Following 15

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Wednesday Feb 01, 2006

Feb 1, 2006
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Congratulations on your excellent choice in home personal Geeks, the Capn 2006! With proper care and maintence your purchase will provide you with fun and excitement for years to come.

Capn Quick Start guide

Open the crate with a hammer.

Inside you will find
1 (1) Capn 2006
2 (2) change of clothes, both a witty T-shirt and business casual wear.
1 (1) alarm clock
1 (1) Guinness

Press the special Activate Capn button on the included Alarm Clock. The Capn will hit Snooze until the Alarm gives up. Shortly afterward the Capn will be fully activated and ready for hours of fun!

Quick and fun Questions and Answers!

Q. Do I need to load the Capn with expansion packs?
A. The Capn comes preloaded with a vast array of Terry Pratchett and general Geek information. There is no need to load the Capn with expansion packs. If you wish to expand the Capn's knowledge we sell many different expansion packs to suit every taste.

Troubleshooting guide:
Q. The eyes seem to be malfunctioning.
A. Are they glazed over? Turn off the TV.

Q. I left a good book open. The Capn won't stop reading.
A. Wait until 4am, the Capn will reboot for a period of about six hours. After that the Capn should return to normal operation.

Q. How do I turn off the Pun feature?
A. Despite many customer complaints we are unable to change this obvious design flaw. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Q. My Capn is twitching uncontrollably.
A. The Capn is not designed to listen to Jerry Falwell.

Q. The Capn seems to be in a loop.
A. Place a Guinness just out of it's reach. The Capn will cease whatever it is doing to drink the Guinness. Warning: The Capn is not designed to drink more than 128 oz of Guinness. Feeding your Capn more than 128 oz of Guinness in a single sitting voids your warantee.

Q. Who are all these people, and where is all my beer?
A. The Capn is very outgoing. Enjoy your new friends. Keep the fridge stocked with juices, pops, and beer, the Capn will be having people over often.

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