something must be wrong with me

2

Ever have one of those days that start out great and suddenly everything stops and gets shitty?

I was great all morning. Happy, feeling sassy and goofy.... and then like a stone thrown into a lake everything just sinks and you feel shitty and down and confused and no matter how you try to reason with yourself you just feel crazy and shittier...

These days happen more often lately. Even though my insecurities are totally stupid. I've lost so much weight this year, I should feel fantastic about myself. But I dont. I feel like it doesnt matter at all how hard Ive worked or how much stronger I am or how many sizes Ive dropped or whatever. Because the only person I want to be amazed by me isnt. Oh well.

Enough with my pity party, get back to your lives.

midnight:
It's more than normal to feel less excited about life, even when your brain is giving you reasons you should be!! Find one thing you can always fall back on that gives you happiness....like a sort of fail-safe. We've all got one. Draw on this when times get shitty😘
wickedargyle:
AH! I feel your pain!!! A few years ago, I lost 60 pounds in a matter of 11 months, and went from a size 16 to a size 6. And although I felt stronger, I didn't actually feel like a "better version of myself" like I expected to. My outside changed, but everything on the inside was still the same. I'm working on getting right in my head now. The physical transformation was something I wasn't quite ready for, I don't think. I've maintained for the most part--I'm not a 6 anymore, but 9 outta 10 people were telling me I looked sickly at that weight anyway--but I'm learning that I need to figure out how to make my outside match my inside. I lost all that weight out of spite because of a truly honest statement my partner made. They meant no harm, but it caused a snowball effect of emotions and my mind never quite caught up with my body. But now I'm on a journey to unite the two. :) I realize this blog post is kinda an oldie, and I hope you've united your mind, body, and soul since posting it. Blessings! :)

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