canismajor

So Wednesday, Thanksgiving Eve, I was out with some friends. We bounced around to a few spots had a few. I headed home around midnight or so with my cousin in my truck. We stumbled upon what we dubbed "Dead Guy" in our driveway. Now I always back in getaway style. My driveway is behind bushes and pitch black. As I'm swinging my full size truck around I see something glint. Just joking I say Al go check out the dead guy. Well he yells back that it is indeed a dead guy sprawled out in our driveway. Curious I put the truck in park and check it out. It looks like this guy was riding a bike on the sidewalk and just slumped over out of site. No accident scene or anything just fell over one leg still around the bike. Well he was very cold but did have a slow pulse. Not quite a dead guy but try as we might we couldn't wake him up. We yelled, shook him, smacked him, nothing. I'm like fuck it. We gotta call the cops. Can't have dead guy in the driveway all night. The local cops show up quick. They thought it was funny that I had dubbed him Dead Guy. They were all talking to him like a little kid even though he was totally out. "Hey dead guy...did you fall off your bike?" We made fun of him for awhile before they actually woke him by violently shaking yelling and holding a strong light right in his eyes. Anyway he must have been heroined out or something because he was like totally fine once he came around. Turns out it was some 16 year old kid who has been getting into trouble the past couple of months. They called his dad to come get him. Hopefully he got an ass beating. I go inside and call my buddy Dave who was out with us. I get his voice mail. "Smitty, I got a dead guy in the driveway. Call me back." He was apparently passed out and calls me in the morning when he gets the message. No "What the fuck happened?" or anything like that. Just "Yo, you take care of the dead guy or do you still need a hand?" That, people, is friendship. ---CM