caligurl38

OK, so I had the holiday meltdown yesterday. I totally fell apart emotionally. That does not happen often thankfully. I usually like Xmas but this year I am in a funk. I don't know if it because I miss my family, if I am under too much stress, or unhappy about my life. I am definitely going through this baby thing that may be causing some of it. Every time I see a baby I get upset because I want to be a mother so much. I am going to be 33 in April and I feel like I am running out of time. I am not even healthy enough to be pregnant right now if I wanted to be. If I have health problems now I cannot imagine what it would be like if I were pregnant. I am afraid of difficulties because my mother had my sister at 31 and they both almost died. I don't know. I feel like I am whining and should suck it up! Frustration sucks!!!! Sorry for the downer. I just need to vent. Thankfully my BF was supportive last night when I finally burst. He held me and said he would buy me a plane ticket to see my family if I wanted. He said not to worry where the money would come from, but that he would get it for me. I guess he really does love me. Maybe I will go see a cute movie today to cheer me up. I have been wanting to go see Happy Feet, the animated pengiun movie. I guess I will see how I feel later. Ya'll have a better day than me.