cakemix

tomoro is my dear friend martin's memorial party. he died last summer - he was diabetic and he drank himself to death. if you know anything about my family genes/habits, you'll know how scary that is for me.

(me and RavenIsis are the only ones NOT diabetic in my family and my little brother already has partial liver failure)

...i usually can't stand going to things like this. a little while back i lost alot of amaxing people in quick succession: kaisu, preacher, miles, then martin. it all hit me so hard i got to the point that i couldn't go to another memorial.

so i celebrated martin's death by fucking my lord byron-esque bf on webcam.
(to see why appropriate, read on!)

and i only broke my no memorial rule for my best friend sonia's funeral/memorial party in mnpls last april and the pain is still pretty damn fresh. i actually broke down in tears on the way to work today just flashing on memories of her and i in london...

so if i'm not at the ship tomoro night celebrating tubesound's half century - i'll be in east london toasting the memory of martin - the first guy i ever saw having sex live on the internet!

R.I.P. BIG BOY