I have been a presence on this site for 20 years now. CRAZY!
Much has changed since last I was truly here, and so little too.
I'm still hot and older than most SG, married and living with my cats in my beautiful coastal town of Sesimbra, Portugal, in my great beach/pool house. I'm still struggling with my mental health, but finally assuming my binge drinking addiction problem and trying to fix it and my marriage which has relied heavily on our mutual addiction for intimacy (emotional and otherwise). I’m still not working (lucky I know) and being a busy housewife and cat mom of 4 rescues, reading a ton (140 average a year for the last 10 years), and sometimes playing Sims4. My best friend , sista from another mista, is still @discordia and I’m still close friend with @mermaid , and although not as close as we were I’m still super rooting for @plum and @silvi , a beautiful (sober as far as I know) DJ on the rise and a soulful flower of a person, yoga instructor and artist, respectively. I have such admiration for both, and keep loving them from afar. Honestly I have such tenderness for all my Portuguese SG colleagues, some I am closer than others due to age and time of coming to SG, like @aeterna and @gossip but also @illusion and @demonia who came later. This local community meant so much to me for a long time, and it saddens me that it no longer exists, but I am FOREVER THANKFUL that it did exist in time, and how much I benefited from it, and still do today with the friendships and connections I made.
And, not only in Portugal but also internationally. So I will give a shout-out to many SG that crossed my path, some in physical and web form, some only web, and left a mark - @rambo - wow such support and graciousness, plus hotness came across, @Giulia one of the first SG I met and talked to here, the same with @eden and @riae so lucky I was to actually spend time with these two awesome ladies back in 2013, @alle @circa @mendacia @gogo who I met and for a while was able to albeit with distance keep a relationship, always think of you so fondly and with hope that you are well and thriving, @analee who I talked to about books and nature, and always admired from afar. I really wish I could reconnect with her, what a beautiful soul and body, an icon since I entered this site, @andrealaz @Brooklyn @robgiro great photographers and people, @milloux what a force of nature, @aeta @saria @lua @janesinner @zad @jupiter @euphoria who I met and loved, and @marlene @mimo @popcorn @rika @lilyt @walerya @ultima @lauretta and @Katherine who I admire and would have loved to meet properly and multi with (who can blame me). I can’t forger my early latinas especially @ellys and @pia (such a crush I had on both) @anemona @discoquette @liu and @nahp , how I wish we had made memories together in and out of the pages of the internet. Also, @paloma @ginebra @fernanda @ilanna @aymi @jaqueline @talena @thanatoz @coralinne and @fay. There are so many more of you I am definitely and wrongly forgetting who made an impact, who I admired and followed, who made me want to keep in this community.
I didn’t start this blog to go down memory lane but it seems I kind of did. I am so glad for SG and all it brought me and I am not ready to let it go just yet.
Which is why I really want to shoot a new set this year, even if I have little hope of it ever seeing the spotlight of the front page (FP), still it would reach some of you, maybe many of those who still know who I am, and that I have been here since 2006, and 2007 on the FP for the first time. OMG almost 20 years. The first Portuguese SG, even if not the first to grace the FP, that honor fell on @silk
It makes me sad the Portuguese community is gone, due to in no small part to the fact that the site is for many years now not buying new sets from new and old Portuguese photographers and models. I miss the gatherings, the shoots, the shootfests, and honestly having a photographer to shoot with. I am now the oldest (in age and time in the site) Portuguese SG and I have no one I trust or know off to produce a new set with.
I am even trying to bring my sis @discordia back --who wouldn’t want that?— but unless we travel to Spain and beg @mimo @gloom or @bretema I don’t think we can manage. Raising the money and the time for that is the issue.
Oh, my sweet 45 are coming, my middle life crisis is here. Therapy and sertraline help. But, man, life has a way of sneaking up on you. I have recently came to realize (after reading it in a book) that the choices not taken are the ones that define our lives. And, that resonated so much with me.
Talking of books —my obsession— here are a few of the top of my head that have recently (last couple of years) pierced me:
Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez,
Tender is The Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica,
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara,
Heart the Lover by Lily King,
Bad Habit by Alana S. Portero,
A Little Luck by Claudia Piñero,
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt,
Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin,
The Overstory by Richard Powers,
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir
Christodora by Tim Murphy,
She Would Be King by Wayétu Moore,
Alone With You in the Ether by Olivie Blake,
Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow,
Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins-Reid,
The Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee,
The murderbot diaries by Martha Wells,
Red Rising series by Pierce Brown,
The Witches of Vardø by Anya Bergman
And anything by-
Silvia Moreno-Garcia,
Jeffrey Tenório
Sally Rooney,
Ronan Hession,
Isabel Cañas,
Brandon Sanderson,
And, always forever my favorite Robin Hobb— FitzChivalry and the Fool 4life <3
I am currently reading The Vampire Chronicles and The Mayfair Witches by Anne Rice, finishing Carlos Ruiz Zafron Cemetery of Lost Books series.
I have my hands and eyes on Japanese Gothic by Kylie Lee Baker — loving it, as I loved her Bat Eater, my ears are on The Woman in White, the classic by Wilkie Collins, and I just finished the reimagining of Carmilla, Hungerstone By Kat Dunn, really good. I have a physical tbr of hundreds and a digita/audio of similar number, thus I can’t spend too much time online or I will never catch up :D
Leaving here a couple of very recent candid photos since I haven’t shot a proper set even a selfie one in a long time.
Fingers-crossed I manage that set and than comeback, if not, it’s probably a goodbye for a while.
Adieu...
@penny @kiley @cherie @vaega
