buttercup

well,i guess i`ve fnally lost my mind.because,you know,things are getting so bad i just really don`t care anymore.i don`t give a shit.it`s gotten to the point where you realize it`s actually quite funny,and i`m just laughing about it all now.i`m wondering if this really has to do with the change of weather,cause i was wearing my light coat today without freezing(!!!)anyways,the thing that happened on top of all the other bullshit i had lately was this: i worked 2 jobs yesterday,starting at 8:30 in the morning.one was a drugstore-commercial which went fine.no stress there,nice people,excellent.then i had lunch with the very sweet make-up artist,the sun was out for the first time in weeks and it could have been a great day.but NO.cause right after that,i had to do an editorial for this shitty austrian men`s magazine with this not really famous but o.k.-looking model who acted like naomi campell or something.i brought some really nice and expencive latex-clothes for the shooting,and told the moron make-up person to not put oils or creams on the model as this destroys the material.of course miss campbell throws a fit and makeup-moron puts GLITTERCREAM!!!on the bitch. so after the shoot i cleaned everything with a special cleaner,but,hey,you know glitter,right?it fucking sticks.so on the insides of every single piece there`s fucking glitter,and the shop won`t take it back.now i have to pay over 500 euros for fetish-gear that doesn`t even fit me.funny,huh?oh, AND they rejected my new set.i wonder if you have to be some kinda-famous pregnant indie-musician with tampons hanging out of your mouth and lotsa guns and candles& shit...and most of all your set has to be photographed by some kind of has-been-rockstar to be accepted.but,y`know,fuck it.cause this is my united states of whatever.