I have fortunately remained home sick from work the past week. Carrying with me the plague that was left behind. It was a necessary extension of a vacation that I would not have normally taken. Within it I have had the time to think, write, read, talk, and reflect.
Though, I did indulge the pleasures of the New Year despite an understanding that I would be left wrecked. I attended a gathering at a good friend's house, former member, where I have for as many months been the ungrateful guest that consumes their top shelf wares without offering anything but thanks.
They had found themselves in the company of new friends. The wife wore the Cheshire grin of an open relationship across her face as I was introduced. I smiled, engaged momentarily in a flirt, and then moved on to talk with the host about a drink, new toys, and resolutions. I spent most the evening, as i always do, behind the eight ball in the drinks department. Always nursing a first while a second or third is poured.
We piled into the car up to Capital Hill where I gave the amorous wife the pleasure of laying across the three-full backseat of the car. Before we left though, I laid out the ground rules that I would not have what happened at Halloween happen again in my car or when we were out tonight (a drunken groper: grabbing hands, grab all they can).
I talked heavy with Elisabeth; having missed an opportunity earlier in the day about the nights events. I expressed a desire that I what I wanted more than anything that night was to embrace and kiss her. We resolved to talk again around the main event in a few hours.
I purchased a ticket for a costume ball in hopes that I would find myself surrounded by a decadence that would allow me the pleasure of not having a worry and what I found was what felt like a High School dance with some elaborate props, open bar, and some entertainment. The catered food could be found four floors on the street accessible through a long line.
A few drinks later I found myself closer to "not having a worry" but I was still on an auditorium floor. I talked with a few strangers throughout the night; performing a card trick and scoring free food (I had somehow lost the ticket that granted me that right). One conversations with a couple, the one in which made it clear it was time to leave, was dominated by the boyfriend who had taken my presence to mean I was flirting with his girlfriend.
I returned to old grounds and an old haunt to hopefully find the friends that I had left previously in the night. Nearing midnight I threw myself into my car to charge my phone; giving it a hope to finish the night. Elisabeth and I talked through the new year. When the phone call ended, I woke the phone to the picture on the background and thought about that kiss.
I entered the old, smoky club, resolute now to find the friends I came with to share in the new year celebration. I gave the old friend working the door a few dollars short of the minimum and a hug. A friend on the periphery of a formerly lived life, thought it still felt like a great homecoming. She placed a small, motherly kiss on my cheek and told me to never mind the few dollars.
A quick tour of the old place found the similar dark shapes headed with different white faces. It wasn't until I made a second round that I found myself in the presence of my ex-wife. We talked and while the details of our lives had changed, it felt like time had left her untouched. She sat there almost as she did years ago waiting for something to happen; her club friends at her side.
I excused myself. Retrieved my coat from the previous gala. Then laid myself down in the car waiting until friends emerged from a place I had no patience to stand any longer. They never did appear. I awoke an hour later and drove home.
I peeled off my costuming. Cleaned up and went to sleep.
Though, I did indulge the pleasures of the New Year despite an understanding that I would be left wrecked. I attended a gathering at a good friend's house, former member, where I have for as many months been the ungrateful guest that consumes their top shelf wares without offering anything but thanks.
They had found themselves in the company of new friends. The wife wore the Cheshire grin of an open relationship across her face as I was introduced. I smiled, engaged momentarily in a flirt, and then moved on to talk with the host about a drink, new toys, and resolutions. I spent most the evening, as i always do, behind the eight ball in the drinks department. Always nursing a first while a second or third is poured.
We piled into the car up to Capital Hill where I gave the amorous wife the pleasure of laying across the three-full backseat of the car. Before we left though, I laid out the ground rules that I would not have what happened at Halloween happen again in my car or when we were out tonight (a drunken groper: grabbing hands, grab all they can).
I talked heavy with Elisabeth; having missed an opportunity earlier in the day about the nights events. I expressed a desire that I what I wanted more than anything that night was to embrace and kiss her. We resolved to talk again around the main event in a few hours.
I purchased a ticket for a costume ball in hopes that I would find myself surrounded by a decadence that would allow me the pleasure of not having a worry and what I found was what felt like a High School dance with some elaborate props, open bar, and some entertainment. The catered food could be found four floors on the street accessible through a long line.
A few drinks later I found myself closer to "not having a worry" but I was still on an auditorium floor. I talked with a few strangers throughout the night; performing a card trick and scoring free food (I had somehow lost the ticket that granted me that right). One conversations with a couple, the one in which made it clear it was time to leave, was dominated by the boyfriend who had taken my presence to mean I was flirting with his girlfriend.
I returned to old grounds and an old haunt to hopefully find the friends that I had left previously in the night. Nearing midnight I threw myself into my car to charge my phone; giving it a hope to finish the night. Elisabeth and I talked through the new year. When the phone call ended, I woke the phone to the picture on the background and thought about that kiss.
I entered the old, smoky club, resolute now to find the friends I came with to share in the new year celebration. I gave the old friend working the door a few dollars short of the minimum and a hug. A friend on the periphery of a formerly lived life, thought it still felt like a great homecoming. She placed a small, motherly kiss on my cheek and told me to never mind the few dollars.
A quick tour of the old place found the similar dark shapes headed with different white faces. It wasn't until I made a second round that I found myself in the presence of my ex-wife. We talked and while the details of our lives had changed, it felt like time had left her untouched. She sat there almost as she did years ago waiting for something to happen; her club friends at her side.
I excused myself. Retrieved my coat from the previous gala. Then laid myself down in the car waiting until friends emerged from a place I had no patience to stand any longer. They never did appear. I awoke an hour later and drove home.
I peeled off my costuming. Cleaned up and went to sleep.