burtlo

While verballing recalling moments past, with a stranger (to my past) by my side, I came to realize that I would safely have called myself a social social bully. The people that I would come to call "friends" over the years were often gained through force of presence. I remember experiencing an feeling very much like desire when it came to befriending them.

I forced friendship with Arthur over his Street Fighter 2 prowess that was later forged by his ownership of numerous game consoles, a computer and Prodigy. Coming to know Brian Elkan through Arthur on the basketball courts didn't get me any closer to him. It wasn't until I purposefully upset the balance of his Biology class room seating arrangement. He was a decent baller, an owner of a 9600 baud modem and was genuinely funny. Brian Jennings and I shared a long bus ride home and at that point a few mutual friends. I am fairly certain that I followed him to his house to use his phone to spare me the walk down Beverly Glen. I would later come to take the cookies from his house even on days I rode the bus alone. Scott Rosnick had Magic the Gathering and was able to sway Brian to spend the night. It became important that I friended him so that I could play more Magic and be likewise invited over to similar events.

The list really could go on...

I imagine this behavior is status quo. In retrospect it appears more underhanded, as I was actively recruiting individuals as friends because they had access to resources that I sought or experiences I desired.

These days I have convinced myself that the possessions that surround me satisfy my desires. This allows me to excise the majority of the social cajoling that once had to take place. Rendering me socially inert.

I am unsure which position is better.