It's a SAD day in December....maybe I don't know what love is, but i sure think I do! Let me ask you all a question: Have you ever felt like you were always wrong(sick in the head) because someone or a lot of people made you feel that way, but secretly you thought that it wasn't you at all and that you were fine?! I hope I worded that so that you could understand it. See my relationship is slowly falling apart and I'm constantly taking the blame when in reality I don't think it's me at all...I've been with him for 4 years....HELP! 
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In my most private thoughts Ive come to realize that its hard to admit to great faults in our character. We are human and we ALL, every fucking one of us, have bad characteristics. We don't like it, and we put our best faces forward to be the best person we can. When you are with a person for 4 years the facade wears thin, but we carry on like our cover ups are the truth.
Is their a way to have that sort of honesty. Do you think that what I just said has any pertinence to your situation? It takes people of great fortitude to push thru things like that.
In a more simple reply, its almost always true that issues that get blown up..."arguements" are often about the other perosn issues, andnot aobut the topic at all. Its all action/reaction stuff.
Space = Perspective.