Mule Gets The Sweet Digits:
I am fuckin high as shit right now so I want to tell you this sweet story about this guy Mule. One of the first dudes I met when I moved to Anguilla was this dude named Larry who insisted on being called Mule. Mule is a pretty sweet nickname but unfortunately for Larry, he gave himself the name which is WICKED MEGA UNCOOL. But he insists that some bro of his, back in his hometown in Ohio called him that cause he use to breakdance. See that doesn't make any sense cause nobody breakdances in Ohio...especially Larry. He can't even walk backwards. And what does breakdancin have to do with mules? Must be something about the kickin and stuff. Anyway one night Z-dog broke into a church here in The Valley to sleep off some totally unsweet trip. He fell asleep in the box that you tell all your sins to the priest in (Don't ask me what its called... I'm friggin jewish). He wakes up and realizes that Larry is in the other box talkin to the priest. And Z-dog clearly remembers hearin Larry confess that he made the whole "Mule story" up! BUSTED!!!
But you know what? Larry is a pretty alrite dude. He chills with us alot, and he's got a credit card so we keep him around, for you know...emergencies. But the stink of it is, he won't talk back to you if you call him Larry...you have to call him Mule...I'll be like "hey larry give me some of your chips" and he won't say a word, so then i say "hey MULE give me some of your chips" and he'll say "No way." And then I'll say "hey MULE give me some of your FUCKIN chips" and then he'll pass 'em on down.
So Mule's alrite...I guess...man I'm hungry.... Anyway, one day Mule decides to help some sweet chick in a dunebuggy out with a flat tire. He ends up totally gettin the digits. He calls her up a few days later, and is all like "yo bay-bee, come on over." So she agrees and comes over to Mule's house. BUT SHE BRINGS HER TWO BROTHERS! It's like hanging out with somebody's bodyguards. Mule tries to hang out with them and just try and deal with the whole situation. But the brother's just sit there and stare Mule down eating the french fries that they brought with them. Mule tries to make small talk and tell some jokes to the chick, but everytime she laughs, the brother bodyguards start crackin their knucks together. Totally uncool. Finally Mule can't take it anymore. He says that he has to let his cat out, and gets up and goes out the front door and starts running!!! He ran all the way to Z-dogs work (this restruant called the Koal Keel) and just sat at the bar drinking rum and cokes until he threw up.
Hours later, Mule decides to walk back to his house and he found to his relief that the chick and her two brothers left. Sweet. A disaster overted with no blowback...or so he thought. Later that week he discovered that one of the brothers must of took a shit in the top part of his toliet tank...or what we call an UPPER DECKER. Bummer...but Mule knows he got off easy. Those brothers are apparently doing some time now for beatin some tourist up with a snorkel.
I am fuckin high as shit right now so I want to tell you this sweet story about this guy Mule. One of the first dudes I met when I moved to Anguilla was this dude named Larry who insisted on being called Mule. Mule is a pretty sweet nickname but unfortunately for Larry, he gave himself the name which is WICKED MEGA UNCOOL. But he insists that some bro of his, back in his hometown in Ohio called him that cause he use to breakdance. See that doesn't make any sense cause nobody breakdances in Ohio...especially Larry. He can't even walk backwards. And what does breakdancin have to do with mules? Must be something about the kickin and stuff. Anyway one night Z-dog broke into a church here in The Valley to sleep off some totally unsweet trip. He fell asleep in the box that you tell all your sins to the priest in (Don't ask me what its called... I'm friggin jewish). He wakes up and realizes that Larry is in the other box talkin to the priest. And Z-dog clearly remembers hearin Larry confess that he made the whole "Mule story" up! BUSTED!!!
But you know what? Larry is a pretty alrite dude. He chills with us alot, and he's got a credit card so we keep him around, for you know...emergencies. But the stink of it is, he won't talk back to you if you call him Larry...you have to call him Mule...I'll be like "hey larry give me some of your chips" and he won't say a word, so then i say "hey MULE give me some of your chips" and he'll say "No way." And then I'll say "hey MULE give me some of your FUCKIN chips" and then he'll pass 'em on down.
So Mule's alrite...I guess...man I'm hungry.... Anyway, one day Mule decides to help some sweet chick in a dunebuggy out with a flat tire. He ends up totally gettin the digits. He calls her up a few days later, and is all like "yo bay-bee, come on over." So she agrees and comes over to Mule's house. BUT SHE BRINGS HER TWO BROTHERS! It's like hanging out with somebody's bodyguards. Mule tries to hang out with them and just try and deal with the whole situation. But the brother's just sit there and stare Mule down eating the french fries that they brought with them. Mule tries to make small talk and tell some jokes to the chick, but everytime she laughs, the brother bodyguards start crackin their knucks together. Totally uncool. Finally Mule can't take it anymore. He says that he has to let his cat out, and gets up and goes out the front door and starts running!!! He ran all the way to Z-dogs work (this restruant called the Koal Keel) and just sat at the bar drinking rum and cokes until he threw up.
Hours later, Mule decides to walk back to his house and he found to his relief that the chick and her two brothers left. Sweet. A disaster overted with no blowback...or so he thought. Later that week he discovered that one of the brothers must of took a shit in the top part of his toliet tank...or what we call an UPPER DECKER. Bummer...but Mule knows he got off easy. Those brothers are apparently doing some time now for beatin some tourist up with a snorkel.