Unwanted repetitive patterns.
My life is an unwanted repetitive pattern.
I find myself longing for the same things, but never getting the balls to go after them.
I have multiple moral dilemas that prevent me from leading a fufilling life.
Family obligations, social obligations, and scholarly obligation have a chokehold on my freedom.
I am very thankful for everything I have been blessed with, but sometimes I get this haunting feeling that I am living someone elses life, pacifying the needs of the family and friends around me, and ignoring myself and the ability to seek my own hapiness.
I am frightened by the passage of time, and missed opportunties, I am frightened of leaving behind the oportunities that I have been given here.
I feel so guilty that I am blessed with so much but I am still not content.
I would give everything I have, for my obligations to be resolved kindly, for my family's health, and to know my purpose in life, so that I dont waste time fufilling it.
I wish I had more people in my life with whom I could share love, and experience life with. I wish I could be free from perverse manipulative people.
I wish I could stop falling for the same crap, for the same traps, for the same blind destinatios, and empty promises.
I miss the ability to remain completely absorbed in whatever i was doing at the moment. I'm being chased by thoughts of my mortality, my mistakes, and my future.
but other than that.....
I'm doing well, tonsilitis is almost gone now, its starting to warm up(a little0, and I have long term plans to look forard to. Im moving out of this old town.....it's like a breath of fresh air just thinking about it. I cant wait!
sorry for rambling..I had to vent.
My life is an unwanted repetitive pattern.
I find myself longing for the same things, but never getting the balls to go after them.
I have multiple moral dilemas that prevent me from leading a fufilling life.
Family obligations, social obligations, and scholarly obligation have a chokehold on my freedom.
I am very thankful for everything I have been blessed with, but sometimes I get this haunting feeling that I am living someone elses life, pacifying the needs of the family and friends around me, and ignoring myself and the ability to seek my own hapiness.
I am frightened by the passage of time, and missed opportunties, I am frightened of leaving behind the oportunities that I have been given here.
I feel so guilty that I am blessed with so much but I am still not content.
I would give everything I have, for my obligations to be resolved kindly, for my family's health, and to know my purpose in life, so that I dont waste time fufilling it.
I wish I had more people in my life with whom I could share love, and experience life with. I wish I could be free from perverse manipulative people.
I wish I could stop falling for the same crap, for the same traps, for the same blind destinatios, and empty promises.
I miss the ability to remain completely absorbed in whatever i was doing at the moment. I'm being chased by thoughts of my mortality, my mistakes, and my future.
but other than that.....
I'm doing well, tonsilitis is almost gone now, its starting to warm up(a little0, and I have long term plans to look forard to. Im moving out of this old town.....it's like a breath of fresh air just thinking about it. I cant wait!
sorry for rambling..I had to vent.
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do what makes you happy..and keep those close to you that are important....you've got everything to gain still you know?
gawd, i'm still creating my own personal journies with a ton of wasted time behind me and missed oportunities...but at least i've been doing what i wanted...i just wish i could make more money for myself!!!