@adelina mentioned this in one of her recent blogs and during my interviews last weekend both women complained that just because they like sex and sexual expression they get labeled as a slut, a whore or a tramp. This is certainly nothing to new to all of you but I want to tackle head on why this is the case because as we all know its vastly different for men.
Or is it?
You see women are pressured into having sex by men and then put down for it when they do. Men are pressured into having sex by other men and then put down for it IF they don't boast about it and how great THEY were during the session. Never mind the woman, she was just there for your benefit. You see in the rules of masculine society sexual prowess is what determines your standing among your peers. I'd say even more than your capacity for violence although that is definitely second on the list. Men who like to be romantic, sensual, submissive or any other sexual traits that aren't considered "manly" are very often put down just as badly as women. The only real difference is that unlike women who are slammed no matter what they do men have a way out but only one way. To act like King fucking Kong in the bedroom or at least put on a show for your friends even if it's just a lie to get them to leave you alone. Length of time you have sex is probably the biggest way you can prove that you deserve standing but there are other ways as well. How loud the woman was can be used as an indication of how good you made her feel. And if for some reason you weren't able to have an orgasm then obviously she was a "bum lay." There are other factors as well but they all serve to boost the ego of the male in question and typically ignore outright the needs of the woman partner.
When I was in the Navy I made the mistake of letting it out that I was a virgin at age 19. All of my shipmates asked: "What's wrong with you? Aren't you a man? Are you a fag?" They kept pouring on the pressure to "get laid" and even though I explained to them that I was waiting for "the right one" (even though I had no idea what that even meant) and was in no hurry that was unacceptable to them. "Don't waste your time trying to date, just get a hooker you're going to spend all your money on her anyway." Well I did just to shut them up but it didn't work. I broke the cardinal rule of manhood when it comes to sex. I didn't brag about it. As far as I was concerned having sex was a private affair, my business and no one else's except my partner. When I barely mentioned in passing that I had finally lost my virginity everyone wanted details, details I was too uncomfortable to give them. They didn't care, they wanted to know how long, how many times she came, did I come, etc., etc. When I refused to provide those details I was called a liar and bashed even harder. You see, men always want to know who's the best lover, who can get "the most ass" and if you're banging three women at a time then you're a stud. If you're doing anything less, like staying faithful to your wife then you're a fag, a pussy, the list of names goes on and on. Like every other rule of masculine culture your sexual prowess can be challenged by any man, at anytime.
The biggest reason women who freely express their sexuality get put down is that women aren't allowed to be better than men at anything especially something that determines social status in masculine society. A woman who has multiple partners, either consecutively or at once ("36 DICKS?! My girlfriend sucked 36 dicks." "Wow, in a row?") is in danger of having greater sexual prowess than a man and so as to reduce the threat to his standing in masculine culture he needs to either A: out do her in the bedroom or B: put her down so that she doesn't appear to be that great a lover. To men sex is some kind of contact sport complete with stats and ratings like fantasy football or some other such shit. It wouldn't be so bad if they also didn't consider that being number one stud is some kind of birthright given to anyone with a penis. For a woman to like sex goes against everything men stand for. She has to serve his needs but he doesn't have to serve hers. She has to get him off on demand but if he can't get her off it's because she's a "cold bitch." Its insane.
There's nothing wrong with a woman who likes sex just as much as men do. We should be celebrating this fact, not breaking it down. Open sexuality is very much frowned upon in this country and that desperately needs to change. Everyone has sex at some point and the more enjoyment both partners can receive equally the better off the relationship is going to be. Sex is supposed to bind two partners together not drive a wedge between the genders and show which gender is better than the other. We should all be allowed to express our sexuality freely and without fear of judgement no matter if we are men, women, or transsexual. And just as importantly those of us who choose NOT to express out sexuality openly should also not be unfairly judged. Sex is something that is extremely important to all of us and in different ways for different reasons. Unless we start accepting all of those reasons as valid equality will never be anything more than a dream.
