broken_machine

well its a sad day for me today,
i found out 4 days ago that my wife was cheating on me with one of my best friends. it was a one time thing. but now we have to go to marrage counciling and all that stuff. you know i can help but think i failed in some way. she still tells me she loves me and still is begging me to forgive her. will i find it in my hear to forgive her? she says she fucked up big time and doesnt expect me to trust her again. but where is a good marrage without some trust? tell me that. i dunno. things between us are rocky right now. all i can feel is numb in side and i dont know what to do i hope that marrage counciling can save our relationship. becuase marrage is something not taken lightly. well atleast not for me. i dunno. i have the next couple of days off for work and all i realy do is sit around the house playing xbox. becuase i have no motivation to do much of anything else. i need some advice from whom ever will give it. but i tel you right now i wont leave her. not without giving it a chance to make things right. but i just dont know how to feel in side.