brittymon

Fuck today sucked...i got a job...it wasnt the job part i was the way my family aloways treats me like shit. it kills me to live here. my father does nothing for me. he wont even lend me money so i can buy a blazer for work. so when he decides to leave me in moorpark i finaully get my aunt to come n pick me up.when she finds i havent even eaten...no food here and no money...anyhow she fed me...my dads such a bastard. i need somewere to live.
i spent the wrest of the day full of anxiety untill i gotta have a bowl with my uncle...but i only smoked once today untill just now but yeah thats a seroiusly cut back for me...it not even like i wanted it ither...cuz i could have. i just didnt feel like it...untill i could have a smokeing buddy its nice that i can smoke w dana...cuz i hated him soooo much when i was a kid. he stepped on my kittens neck infront of me...i mean it was an accadent. but blood was like shooting up twards me and it was tramatiseing...but hes chill now. now that im completely over the kitten thing...and hes diabedic too so we have those two things in common.

but yeah ive been a little shooken up all day it seems....dad just really got to me...hes so imcapible of compassion....cence his dad commit suicide when he was 17 and was aloways a total lush and his mother constantly working and tredeing men like her wig...anyhow he was aloways tryin to please mom...and mom had 6 other childern...blah so hes an ass. he provides a home....and other tyhings. but there never seems to be food for me...the diabedic. theres fucking 5 tubs of icecream! i counted them! i mean what the crap?! we didnt even ever seem to have iceceram before i knew...befor i died for like what 30 seconds or whatever n fell into a coma....oh yeah

so cense my camera is still broken i now have no way at all to pay off that 500 doller debt that grows 7 more a day....i dont even want to live right now. i wish i could go back into coma for a copple of years