brinny

this is the longest journal in brinnys "sg journal history"
so read it and love it please....
Be a part of history in the making..
not...

The song of the moment... i HIGHLY recommend you take a listen ... it is the song brinny is made of damn it ... if only i wrote ... it ... to bad..
I love this song...

Murder By Death - Those Who Left

the moment...

Today, woke up ... my back was stiff and I smelled of cigs and beer...
I herd the air conditioner kick on and opened my blurry eyes...
"were the fuck am i"

I turn my head to see a cat staring back at me and few empty bottles...

"Oh, I am here...
At my brothers...
I got a lil too stoned and drunk last night."

I replay the events of the day before, just to see how it led to this moment in time ... the moment of me waking up and smelling beer and forgetting were I was...



the day before.


First off... I woke up..
felt shity...
take a few pills that seem to work..

Clean...
Take cat to the vet...



Come home, worked on photos..

Dan comes over..

I noticed his eyes right away...
As soon as I opened the door..
They seemed bluer then I had ever seen them before...

We chill for a while..
then get in the car and head to a park here in town...
Smoke a bowl or two...

Walk to a bridge..
While, some disk golfers chuck their damn Frisbees at us...

We take a few pictures...

He seemed distant....
Like there was something on his mind..
I asked him if there was,...
Even though I knew what the reply would be...
No nothing is wrong ... everything is fine...



I watched him threw my camera lens...
Trying to capture that thing..
that thing he was thinking...
That thing he was or wasn't feeling..



His attention was somewhere else...


And god, I hate dans damn fake smiles...



So we decide that we are a lil uncomfortable with all the people being around...
It just felt weird take pictures there..

so we left...
We drove..
to another town..
Gravel traveled until we found the spot we went often..

The Berton Arboretum...
It is an awesome tree park..
not very many people know about it so no one is ever around.
It is a cool place to chill..

So I take him down to the place were I think we should chill at...
We don't say much, he just sits down and begins to play...



His notes sound fuller and more graceful...

I smile and tell him I like what he is playing ... it sounds nice..
He smiles but says nothing...



But then he stops playing.





He picks a dandelion and puts it in his own hair and I laugh knowing that he is mocking me and the fact that I put dandelions in peoples hair..

I laugh and snap another picture..



So we leave The Berton Arboretum and head to DesMiones for my ggrandmas visitation..

Dan stays for a while...
My family still talks to him like him and I are still together...
I haven't told them that we arent together anymore... i guess I thought they could see it in my eyes....
But we don't stop them from thinking it..
I wonder why..

My nanie takes my hand and asks me to walk to the casket with her..
I leave dan behind...
I was wanting to be pulled away from that weird vibe he was giving me...
but not pulled away to see a lifeless body lay there...

Dan soon leaves and we say are good byes and give a our real fake hugs...

He leaves..

I walk back in..
Here I am with my family...
We are all here in the same place...
It is sad it takes a death for that to happen...

After what feels like hours,
we all are shuffled out to the parking lot..

Were, I light a smoke...
I remembering thinking the sound of my heals sounded neat on the cement... when walking in before with dan..

All my family pulls into their fancy cars..
we all play fallow the leader to "Christopher's"
a restaurant...

We are all pointed to a party room, were some early arriving family members sat..

us "young" people sat at the end...
We each ordered our 30 dollar meals...
And ate them up..



lil did I know on the other end of the table, half my family was getting drunk off of their fine wines ...
I was to busy putting spoons on my nose with my sister, and going to the smoke room with Lindsay to really even care to notice...

I was called Kelly Osborn a few times..
go figure...

I ask my bro and his girl if they have any green I could buy...
The say fuck that will cheef ya..
So I plan to stay the night at my bros...

We drive to his house, were we smoked a ton and drink a few...
And we drew lots of pictures and played video games...

Next thing I know...
I am waking up...

My back was stiff and I smelled of cigs and beer...
I herd the air conditioner kick on and I opened my blurry eyes...
"were the fuck am i"

So here I am laying at my bros...
Shit ... we have to go to the funeral...

I curl up into a ball and die for a while...

Until Lindsay comes out and "wakes" me up..

She gives me a skirt to wear and shirt..

We get to the funeral..

When we get there we hear lovely stories of my grandma and pa and how they fell in love...
they met at a skating rink..
started hanging out..
Grandpa got the missiles...
Couldn't have visitor very often and they had to stay behind a glass wall...

My ggrandma was there with him for hours...
Just talking to him through a glass wall...

And that's how they fell in love...

I think it is sweet...
Gosh....
So sweet...

Next thing in know we are pilling in cars and heading to the cemetery...

I roll down the windows because it is amazingly awesome outside...

I watch as cars stop at the side..
to let the funeral cars go by...

I remember my moms funeral and how my brother rolled his head up in the window trying to lighten the mood and make us laugh...

It worked...

And for a moment.. I smiled again...

it still works...


We get there,
we all say a few words...
and I watch as my family cries and I see the memories replay in their minds...

then my family begins to take flowers off of the casket reef.. to take home with them.. as memoire

I take a bundle of pink roses...

I began to walk to my moms grave were I decide to leave my roses...

And to my surprise my family members are down there too..
I place my flower on her grave...

My family watch me...
I stand back..
and one by one they all laid their flowers on her grave...

We all had many loved ones here...
This is were many of our sweetest memories rest...

I watched my family..
their faces..
the words..

I ran back to the car...
I really don't know why...
And grabbed my camera...

When I got back I noticed that..
Many of my family were visiting the graves of others they had lost...






As I walked back to the car to leave...
Everyone seemed sad...
And it made me sick..

But then I saw my brother..
and there he was...
Making someone smile again...




the end...


Well,...
My day went on...
Nothing much happened..
went to my nanies to eat after wards...

came home..

worked on photos...

Amy surprised me and came over...
She looked pretty today..
she always does..
ari called me...
She is the greatest!

Andy comes home ... we chill..

I think I want to get something like this done...



My cat rilo curling up with a good book..
The book I am currently reading too!



"The Da Vinci Code" by: dan brown

yay for that!

Now tell me.. is he not the fucking most finest cat ever!



ellie is pretty hot too...
I found her in the sink today...



this what I have been looking a lot like lately...





good night...

I love you all...
And thanks for reading.. if you really did anyway...

sweet dreams...