brawler

So it has come to this..I am moving out of my house on Thursday...and for some odd reason I feel relieved.. I have just been feeling lately like everything I do is because I have to..and not because I want to. And I've been feeling like I"m swimming against the current and I'm about to fucking drowned..I haven't been on a ride in months, I constantly have to explain where I'm going and what I'm doing and it's driving me nuts!! I feel like I"m taking crazy pills!!

On the other hand..I might be on the verge of one of the biggest mistakes of my life.. Why is it that when I have love right in front of my face I feel the need to throw it away? What the fuck is wrong with me? I think love is so stupid..it evokes the same physical response as anger..but yet it's acceptable..people kill people in a fit of anger and call it temporary insanity..well that's what love is..temporary insanity..and it makes you do stupid shit and drowns you when it goes bad...they ought to implement a wide-scale push for "love-management counseling" just like they have for anger management. Crazy man...

But what else can I do? I have been absolutely sick to my stomach lately trying to figure out why I feel the way I feel and I'm sick of it!! So before I run off and join the fucking Navy again..(which was great therapy by the way) I'm going to leave for a bit..I need a month long hiatus..I'm fucking nuts as it is..and you throw all this shit on top of it and I'm amazed I'm still on my feet!