man I suck
my life has become relatively pathetic and I just don't know if I care anymore.
recently I have thought about myself, not like usual, wich wood be 'what fun or trouble can I get into tomorrow' or maybe 'what trip or other excuse to waste al my money partying can I plan in the medium near future' but more like 'what is wrong with me'.
I drink alot
i mean alot... I don't ever tell anyone how much I drink because I feel like fuck them they don't know me.
i drink 6-7 days a week, usually 3-6 beers, sometimes just 1-2 sometimes 10-15
i love being high... weed is like the biggest source of hapiness in my life... and as sad as that sounds, I just don't know how to change it. I mean I have to work. could that be the biggest source of happiness in my life? I quit my last job and took a HUGE pay cut to do something I enjoy, to do something I don't HATE. I've been here over a year now, and although I don't 'hate' my work, it's still work... I gotta do a buncha shit that's no fun and can't do anything cuz I gotta be here all the time. so when I'm not at werk I can do anything I want, what do I want to do?
lets see... there's
A> Women
B> Travel
C> friends
D>ride motorcycles
E>eat
F>???
can that be it?
well even if it is... I'm all fucked up over women, I don't know what to do about it, but I (like everyone else) got my heart broken...a few times but it was this last one that seems to have fucked me up things had gotten real serious and i really gave eveerything I was to her. it's been 4 fucking years, I still think about her, she still comes to mind first whenever anyone asks me to think about romantic shit. I have spent the last 4 years just playing it safe... enjoying women without investing in them. I keep telling myself I just haven't met the right woman, and maybe that's right, or maybe I'm a coward who just keeps telling myself she's not right because I don't want to risk anything (again, the right girl would probably inspire me to take a risk, but how can I know anymore?
I can't really travel much because I do have to work... but I love planning trips with my friends ( used to do that crap with HER).
you know what It;s getting busy here... I gotta go
my life has become relatively pathetic and I just don't know if I care anymore.
recently I have thought about myself, not like usual, wich wood be 'what fun or trouble can I get into tomorrow' or maybe 'what trip or other excuse to waste al my money partying can I plan in the medium near future' but more like 'what is wrong with me'.
I drink alot
i mean alot... I don't ever tell anyone how much I drink because I feel like fuck them they don't know me.
i drink 6-7 days a week, usually 3-6 beers, sometimes just 1-2 sometimes 10-15
i love being high... weed is like the biggest source of hapiness in my life... and as sad as that sounds, I just don't know how to change it. I mean I have to work. could that be the biggest source of happiness in my life? I quit my last job and took a HUGE pay cut to do something I enjoy, to do something I don't HATE. I've been here over a year now, and although I don't 'hate' my work, it's still work... I gotta do a buncha shit that's no fun and can't do anything cuz I gotta be here all the time. so when I'm not at werk I can do anything I want, what do I want to do?
lets see... there's
A> Women
B> Travel
C> friends
D>ride motorcycles
E>eat
F>???
can that be it?
well even if it is... I'm all fucked up over women, I don't know what to do about it, but I (like everyone else) got my heart broken...a few times but it was this last one that seems to have fucked me up things had gotten real serious and i really gave eveerything I was to her. it's been 4 fucking years, I still think about her, she still comes to mind first whenever anyone asks me to think about romantic shit. I have spent the last 4 years just playing it safe... enjoying women without investing in them. I keep telling myself I just haven't met the right woman, and maybe that's right, or maybe I'm a coward who just keeps telling myself she's not right because I don't want to risk anything (again, the right girl would probably inspire me to take a risk, but how can I know anymore?
I can't really travel much because I do have to work... but I love planning trips with my friends ( used to do that crap with HER).
you know what It;s getting busy here... I gotta go
gangstaswan:
You need to watch the episode of Full House where Danny realizes he always finds flaws in the women he's dating because he doesn't want to replace his wife. Something about how his wife's earlobes were perfectly symmetrical.