contempt: n The feeling or attitude of regarding someone or something as inferior, base, or worthless; scorn.
drag your knuckles across the dirty floor, same routine, day in, day out:
1. walk in, punch in.
2. call all of your pending orders. grab a work order from the bin marked "TYPESET" and go to your desk.
3. decipher the salesperson's incomprehensible and often mispelled work order.
4. throw the layout together in ten minutes. if the text doesn't fit onto the sign properly, stretch it or condense it as haphazardly as you like, just FILL THAT SPACE.
5. slap the layout onto the PROOFING TEMPLATE and send a PDF of the PROOF to the customer.
6. change the entire layout because the salesperson wrote the order wrong. repeat steps 4 and 5.
7. change the entire layout again because the customer wasn't sure what they wanted to communicate on the sign. repeat steps 4 and 5.
8. after approval is received, place the work order in the appropriate bin: "PRINT" "EDGE" or "HP-PRINT."
9. repeat steps 1-8 until its time for step 10.
10. after a suitable amount of time has passed, punch out and walk home.
i am so filled with hate that i am surprised that any of you ever see me smile. its all packed deep down into all of the empty spots. i try not to go through my days thinking about what kind of talent i am repressing in the company of those i should spit on.
some people think that being a struggling artist is "romantic" but, fuck that. they never did it.
i wake up every day and fight myself. i am the only enemy worth fighting. with each new day do i struggle: do i work as hard as i can? or do i give in to the incredible amount of contempt i feel with every passing minute and struggle just to make it through the day without an outburst of anger?
i spend 25 hours of each week making shit. i spend the rest of my time trying to figure out the best way to not have to make shit. for almost 1 full year i have been wrapped up in building a website for a client. i should've quit the project six months ago when it was clear that he was not smart enough, talented enough, or gutsy enough to follow through on it with me. but i gave my word. i said i'd finish. and so help me, i'll finish the fucking thing if it drives my career into the ground and destroys every shred of progress i've made.
but, soon as its done. fuck it.
fuck 'em all.
how many people look in my eyes and know that i want to spit on them and tell them how much i hate them? i think my manager can feel the contempt. she gave me a project to work on the other day, to create a menu sign out of a paper menu she had designed. i told her it was gonna be difficult because the previous designer (her) did such a piss poor and embarrasing job that i was going to have to correct all of her mistakes before i started.
she has not been very friendly with me since.
frustration is a very difficult thing to fight. i like challenges. if someone said to me: "turn this empty store into a retail space." i'd do it. even if i had no experience. and it would be awesome. i would stay up for days in a row painting, sweating, putting everything i had into it.
but, what the fuck am i supposed to do when someone asks me to make something, but not work too hard on it and do it fast but make it look really good, and then let me change it all around when you are finished: let US be the final authority, not YOU.
how do you do that? you put your head down and you do it.
after a couple of years, you are filled with contempt...
because you know in your heart, that there are more weak people than strong people. you know that the majority of your fellow "graphic designers" and "illustrators" your fellow utilitarian artists are a bunch of spineless pussies who give in with every breath they take.
don't you fucking dare enter my occupation to pay your bills. don't you fucking dare install photoshop on your computer and think that you are a designer. if you want to be a fucking painter, then BE A FUCKING PAINTER!!! FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!! FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!!! YOUR DREAMS ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT MATTER!!! YOUR OPINION IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! IF YOUR PARENTS TELL YOU TO "be a graphic designer, so you can make money while you pursue your art on the side" THEN TELL THEM TO GO TO HELL!!! if you listen to them, you should cash in your chips, because there is no such thing as being a part-time artist. YOU LIVE IT WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE OR YOU FUCK OFF AND WASTE YOUR TALENT, HEART, AND LIFE like all of the other pretenders.
struggling artist? fuck yeah! bring it on. like i'm gonna quit? like i'm gonna let them win? like i'm gonna do anything besides get up and fight every day? so people like the "designers" i work with can walk around calling themselves "designers" using the same word for themselves that i use for jan tschichold and adrian frutiger? fuck that.
i know who the enemy is.
i'll keep being a good boy. but as soon as this good boy gets some money and notoriety, he's gonna be very loud and very frank about how much he hates all of you.
***
it probably goes without saying that none of this was directed at any of YOU. if any of you actually comment on this, i will be blown away. no need for making me feel better. no one could. that not what i'm after. if i wanted sympathy, i would've wrote myself into it as more of a victim and stressed the "struggling artist" aspect a lot more. i just felt like writing exactly what was in my head right now and it doesn't make a difference to me who reads it or doesn't read it.
by the next update, i will be back to my usual, girl-crazy, self-obsessed, punk rock boy, normal self. until then, you're stuck with jordan-the-pissed-off-artist-man.
enjoy.
drag your knuckles across the dirty floor, same routine, day in, day out:
1. walk in, punch in.
2. call all of your pending orders. grab a work order from the bin marked "TYPESET" and go to your desk.
3. decipher the salesperson's incomprehensible and often mispelled work order.
4. throw the layout together in ten minutes. if the text doesn't fit onto the sign properly, stretch it or condense it as haphazardly as you like, just FILL THAT SPACE.
5. slap the layout onto the PROOFING TEMPLATE and send a PDF of the PROOF to the customer.
6. change the entire layout because the salesperson wrote the order wrong. repeat steps 4 and 5.
7. change the entire layout again because the customer wasn't sure what they wanted to communicate on the sign. repeat steps 4 and 5.
8. after approval is received, place the work order in the appropriate bin: "PRINT" "EDGE" or "HP-PRINT."
9. repeat steps 1-8 until its time for step 10.
10. after a suitable amount of time has passed, punch out and walk home.
i am so filled with hate that i am surprised that any of you ever see me smile. its all packed deep down into all of the empty spots. i try not to go through my days thinking about what kind of talent i am repressing in the company of those i should spit on.
some people think that being a struggling artist is "romantic" but, fuck that. they never did it.
i wake up every day and fight myself. i am the only enemy worth fighting. with each new day do i struggle: do i work as hard as i can? or do i give in to the incredible amount of contempt i feel with every passing minute and struggle just to make it through the day without an outburst of anger?
i spend 25 hours of each week making shit. i spend the rest of my time trying to figure out the best way to not have to make shit. for almost 1 full year i have been wrapped up in building a website for a client. i should've quit the project six months ago when it was clear that he was not smart enough, talented enough, or gutsy enough to follow through on it with me. but i gave my word. i said i'd finish. and so help me, i'll finish the fucking thing if it drives my career into the ground and destroys every shred of progress i've made.
but, soon as its done. fuck it.
fuck 'em all.
how many people look in my eyes and know that i want to spit on them and tell them how much i hate them? i think my manager can feel the contempt. she gave me a project to work on the other day, to create a menu sign out of a paper menu she had designed. i told her it was gonna be difficult because the previous designer (her) did such a piss poor and embarrasing job that i was going to have to correct all of her mistakes before i started.
she has not been very friendly with me since.
frustration is a very difficult thing to fight. i like challenges. if someone said to me: "turn this empty store into a retail space." i'd do it. even if i had no experience. and it would be awesome. i would stay up for days in a row painting, sweating, putting everything i had into it.
but, what the fuck am i supposed to do when someone asks me to make something, but not work too hard on it and do it fast but make it look really good, and then let me change it all around when you are finished: let US be the final authority, not YOU.
how do you do that? you put your head down and you do it.
after a couple of years, you are filled with contempt...
because you know in your heart, that there are more weak people than strong people. you know that the majority of your fellow "graphic designers" and "illustrators" your fellow utilitarian artists are a bunch of spineless pussies who give in with every breath they take.
don't you fucking dare enter my occupation to pay your bills. don't you fucking dare install photoshop on your computer and think that you are a designer. if you want to be a fucking painter, then BE A FUCKING PAINTER!!! FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!! FUCK EVERYONE ELSE!!! YOUR DREAMS ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT MATTER!!! YOUR OPINION IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! IF YOUR PARENTS TELL YOU TO "be a graphic designer, so you can make money while you pursue your art on the side" THEN TELL THEM TO GO TO HELL!!! if you listen to them, you should cash in your chips, because there is no such thing as being a part-time artist. YOU LIVE IT WITH EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE OR YOU FUCK OFF AND WASTE YOUR TALENT, HEART, AND LIFE like all of the other pretenders.
struggling artist? fuck yeah! bring it on. like i'm gonna quit? like i'm gonna let them win? like i'm gonna do anything besides get up and fight every day? so people like the "designers" i work with can walk around calling themselves "designers" using the same word for themselves that i use for jan tschichold and adrian frutiger? fuck that.
i know who the enemy is.
i'll keep being a good boy. but as soon as this good boy gets some money and notoriety, he's gonna be very loud and very frank about how much he hates all of you.
***
it probably goes without saying that none of this was directed at any of YOU. if any of you actually comment on this, i will be blown away. no need for making me feel better. no one could. that not what i'm after. if i wanted sympathy, i would've wrote myself into it as more of a victim and stressed the "struggling artist" aspect a lot more. i just felt like writing exactly what was in my head right now and it doesn't make a difference to me who reads it or doesn't read it.
by the next update, i will be back to my usual, girl-crazy, self-obsessed, punk rock boy, normal self. until then, you're stuck with jordan-the-pissed-off-artist-man.
enjoy.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
seantastic:
You have to punch in? That blows. Plaster the punch in thing with SG stickers. That'll show em.
geekgurl:
My brother originally went to art school for metal sculpture and ended up doing graphic design. But then he also lives in Prague now. Not sure what my point was, but I can give you his member name if you want to talk to a fellow "artist not working in his perferred medium".