boundcreature

okay, so, i don't understand what is so difficult about this. i am tall, i can dance pretty well, i draw really good, i have a great collection of movies and music, i have strong arms and i am a pretty good kisser. aside from my retarded dedication to my artwork and my overwhelming pile of love for myself; i think i'm a pretty good candidate for a cute, nice-smelling female companion to share my bed and watch movies with me. shit, if it comes down to it, i'll even put out!

is it so difficult? is there any reason my better half has not wandered into this bedroom yet? hello! what are you doing? i am waiting here! i am not getting any younger! pretty soon the incredible amount of chocolate and peanut butter i eat is gonna start going to my arms and legs as well as my gut and ass, so you had better get to me while i still have something pleasant to touch...

c'mon, we can have the perfect relationship! i won't bother you, you don't bother me, we'll just watch movies and kiss every once in a while. i'll even shower daily (well not today, because of the mess that was created when the cat fell out of the ceiling and all -- more on this later).

so, really, c'mon over. you don't even have to call first, just this one night, i'll put my work aside and watch a movie with you. i'll even let you pick. shit, i'll even lift my "no girls who come over are allowed to pick ghost world as the first movie we watch rule" for you if you want; who cares that i've watched that movie at least once with almost every female that i know! i'll watch it again! and i won't even think dirty thoughts about rebecca and enid.

promise.

so...

c'mon over.

please.

i'll wear pants.

or, i won't wear pants...

just naked buckykatt on the leopard-print futon...

no? you'd prefer i wore pants?

thats cool too...

semi-clothed (possibly shirtless) buckykatt lounging on the leopard-print futon eating grapes...

yeah, you like that, right?

***

so, onto the full cat story:

you may or not believe this, but last night, a cat fell out of the ceiling in our bathroom.

it woke me up at 3:23 am last night. i heard this terrible fucking bang and went to investigate. our celing the bathroom has been leeking all week because of repairs being done to the bathroom on the second floor. the jack asses who are doing the work do not seem to know what they are doing (i am near positive they are using no tools more precise than sledgehammers and pickaxes).

so, i go to check it out, i'm thinking someone broke in at first, because i see movement out of the corner of my eye and i haven't gone into the bathroom yet and its like 3:30am, so i have no idea what is going on really. it turns out to be a fucking cat. all of our doors and windows are closed, and i have non idea how it got in here.

i don't know if its feral, if its a stray, or what, but it is almost crying (thats the best way i can describe it). it didn't put up too much of a fight when i picked it up, it had no collar, so i figured it just got in somehow and put it outside. i did take note that it was very dirty and covered in dust.

so, then i check out the bathroom; there is ceiling all over the bathroom all in the tub and shit, i look up into the hole in the ceiling and can see the neighbors bathroom upstairs. i say fuck it and go to bed.

i wake up the next morning when darryl goes for his shower and explain the situation and it finally occurs to me: the motherfucking cat fell out of the ceiling! as if on cue, the upstairs neighbor is knocking on our door and asks if i have seen a cat! sure enough, it was playing around upstairs, fell through the floor, landed in our tub, and it was crying because that probably fucking hurt.

fucking surreal. the shit that happens in my world is completely ridiculous.