i'm a tired boy again. first full day of work (at the day job) in almost a week today. i haven't been updating because i've been busy as shit. i was in pennsylvania for most of this weekend working closely with one of my clients on the content for a website he hired me to design all the way back in january. to make a long story short, the guy is a complete and total self-serving lazy ass and he deserves any and all bad things that could ever happen to him. a friend of mine was a partner in his store (and on the website project) and after a full year of working for free the kid just called it quits; he felt exploited and lied to by the owner (my client) and i can't blame him.
the shitty thing though, is that i had a financial stake in any income generated from the website; and now, with my friend (the owners partner) out of the picture, i really don't think the site will even make money (assuming the Pants and i come up with some miraculous way to get the fucking thing launched). the owner just isn't smart enough, or driven and hard-working enough to do it without my friend.
i spent three days working on the site with him, selecting inventory for the store and deciding what information to display about it (y'know, doing his job for him). sometimes it feels like a waste of time.
sometimes i think my artwork is just so much talk until the day comes when i sit down and work for myself.
***
i spent a good bit of time with the family and a good bit of time with old friends. things were the usuall all around the board.
my dad counseled me to work full-time, pay my bills, eat more, and be content. i don't think so. i tried really hard to make him understand that given a choice between being well-fed, financially stable (and creatively stunted) or being broke, hungry, but passionately absorbed in my work; i'd rather be hungry. fuck my job. fuck your job too.
fuck the entire world.
i think that last comment may have been Leftover Crack-Inspired. i talked a lot of politics with my dad, he tried to force me into the uncomfortable position of defending john kerry. hah! he ran out of arguments when i said that both candidates were schmucks, i was just gonna vote for the disgustingly-rich-white-man who seemed LESS dangerous.
the more i pay attention to politics the more sad i get. politics aren't real. they are a smokescreen. i'm sorry to say this to all of you kids who volunteer or give money or really sincerely believe that voting for a democrat or a republican (or an independent) will change the world. you're all getting shammed.
the newspapers and tvs and our peers spend so much time talking about which one is right and which one is wrong and squabbling over media-forced issues, that very few people stop to consider that the system is just so fucked, that changing the guy on top isn't gonna help much of anything. if george w. bush's "presidency" has proved one thing, its that this country doesn't need a strong leader, it can run pretty-much on auto-pilot.
george w. bush is being painted as a very forceful leader who stands his ground, but just last year his reputation was to be the stooge of Cheney, a puppet for the Republican elite...
john kerry is being painted as an anti-war candidate who won't take a strong stance on the issue, just last year kerry was catching heat from howard dean's campaign because he was the "pro-war" candidate.
if you believe in politics, if you watch the news and read the paper, and think you are making informed decisions: i think you are ignorant.
pay close attention for just one month and watch it all change, listen to the opinons of the people you speak with echo pale imitations of last nights news program.
i don't believe in much of anything anymore. i believe in some music and some literature and some art...
mostly i just believe in myself.
i'm no hero here. i'm not fixing anything. i'm not making the world a better place either (although, i don't think i'm making it worse either); but i just can't standing listening to this political shit anymore.
politics = shit.
politicians = liars.
you want the world to be a better place? go fix something.
open your goddamn mind.
***
that wasn't aimed at anyone specific.
sometimes i feel like i am going to be a very lonely person for a very long time.
***
i saw the VIRUS while i was in PA, they were a great streetpunk band two years ago, now they are a couple of embarrasments in tight pants. last time i saw them it was like being in a riot set to punk music. their lyrics were so powerful, so meaningful, since then the drummer, bass player, and singer have quit and been replaced, with only their second guitar player in the band from when i saw them two years ago.
not only did they suck; but i had to break up a fight while there and got a thorough pummeling of the back of my skull for my troubles. fucking assholes. my friend donald puts on these shows, he is the reason you get to see the Virus AT ALL, don't go starting a fight in the club, fuck, be respectful.
all i tried to do was end the fight the fastest way i knew how, i picked one of the little fuckers up, and carried him to the other side of the room, i held him from under the shoulders, wrapping up his hands so he couldn't punch, and used my open hands to protect his face from being cheap-shotted when i pulled him clear out of the fray. and then what happens, his fucking friends start punching me in the back of the fucking head while my hands are wrapped-up. i think there were either two or three people hitting me, i got hit something like 12 or 15 times in a couple of seconds. it was pretty stupid. i dropped the kid i was holding and started hitting him, and then i turned around to deal with the other ones and an acquaintance of mine (Eric) had already dispatched them, then, next thing i know, i'm pulling Eric (the one who was helping me) off of the other kid (the one who was attacking me) because Erichas already smashed him in the face once and i don't think the kid can even take a second shot. i pull these fucking kids out of two fights they couldn't win, and I'M THE ONE WHO GETS HIT.
no big deal really, fights don't impress me, don't seem worth bragging about, i've been hit in the face so hard that i've seen colors, i can't imagine any shitty little punker is gonna do all that much damage.
its just lame. i saw both of the kids who were hitting me later that night at Denny's and i smiled at them. they just grimaced at me.
silly kids.
maybe one day they'll come across someone like me who isn't concerned for the welfare of others and they'll get their jaws broken...
so anyway, i'm back. i'll be hitting journals in the next day or so.
the shitty thing though, is that i had a financial stake in any income generated from the website; and now, with my friend (the owners partner) out of the picture, i really don't think the site will even make money (assuming the Pants and i come up with some miraculous way to get the fucking thing launched). the owner just isn't smart enough, or driven and hard-working enough to do it without my friend.
i spent three days working on the site with him, selecting inventory for the store and deciding what information to display about it (y'know, doing his job for him). sometimes it feels like a waste of time.
sometimes i think my artwork is just so much talk until the day comes when i sit down and work for myself.
***
i spent a good bit of time with the family and a good bit of time with old friends. things were the usuall all around the board.
my dad counseled me to work full-time, pay my bills, eat more, and be content. i don't think so. i tried really hard to make him understand that given a choice between being well-fed, financially stable (and creatively stunted) or being broke, hungry, but passionately absorbed in my work; i'd rather be hungry. fuck my job. fuck your job too.
fuck the entire world.
i think that last comment may have been Leftover Crack-Inspired. i talked a lot of politics with my dad, he tried to force me into the uncomfortable position of defending john kerry. hah! he ran out of arguments when i said that both candidates were schmucks, i was just gonna vote for the disgustingly-rich-white-man who seemed LESS dangerous.
the more i pay attention to politics the more sad i get. politics aren't real. they are a smokescreen. i'm sorry to say this to all of you kids who volunteer or give money or really sincerely believe that voting for a democrat or a republican (or an independent) will change the world. you're all getting shammed.
the newspapers and tvs and our peers spend so much time talking about which one is right and which one is wrong and squabbling over media-forced issues, that very few people stop to consider that the system is just so fucked, that changing the guy on top isn't gonna help much of anything. if george w. bush's "presidency" has proved one thing, its that this country doesn't need a strong leader, it can run pretty-much on auto-pilot.
george w. bush is being painted as a very forceful leader who stands his ground, but just last year his reputation was to be the stooge of Cheney, a puppet for the Republican elite...
john kerry is being painted as an anti-war candidate who won't take a strong stance on the issue, just last year kerry was catching heat from howard dean's campaign because he was the "pro-war" candidate.
if you believe in politics, if you watch the news and read the paper, and think you are making informed decisions: i think you are ignorant.
pay close attention for just one month and watch it all change, listen to the opinons of the people you speak with echo pale imitations of last nights news program.
i don't believe in much of anything anymore. i believe in some music and some literature and some art...
mostly i just believe in myself.
i'm no hero here. i'm not fixing anything. i'm not making the world a better place either (although, i don't think i'm making it worse either); but i just can't standing listening to this political shit anymore.
politics = shit.
politicians = liars.
you want the world to be a better place? go fix something.
open your goddamn mind.
***
that wasn't aimed at anyone specific.
sometimes i feel like i am going to be a very lonely person for a very long time.
***
i saw the VIRUS while i was in PA, they were a great streetpunk band two years ago, now they are a couple of embarrasments in tight pants. last time i saw them it was like being in a riot set to punk music. their lyrics were so powerful, so meaningful, since then the drummer, bass player, and singer have quit and been replaced, with only their second guitar player in the band from when i saw them two years ago.
not only did they suck; but i had to break up a fight while there and got a thorough pummeling of the back of my skull for my troubles. fucking assholes. my friend donald puts on these shows, he is the reason you get to see the Virus AT ALL, don't go starting a fight in the club, fuck, be respectful.
all i tried to do was end the fight the fastest way i knew how, i picked one of the little fuckers up, and carried him to the other side of the room, i held him from under the shoulders, wrapping up his hands so he couldn't punch, and used my open hands to protect his face from being cheap-shotted when i pulled him clear out of the fray. and then what happens, his fucking friends start punching me in the back of the fucking head while my hands are wrapped-up. i think there were either two or three people hitting me, i got hit something like 12 or 15 times in a couple of seconds. it was pretty stupid. i dropped the kid i was holding and started hitting him, and then i turned around to deal with the other ones and an acquaintance of mine (Eric) had already dispatched them, then, next thing i know, i'm pulling Eric (the one who was helping me) off of the other kid (the one who was attacking me) because Erichas already smashed him in the face once and i don't think the kid can even take a second shot. i pull these fucking kids out of two fights they couldn't win, and I'M THE ONE WHO GETS HIT.
no big deal really, fights don't impress me, don't seem worth bragging about, i've been hit in the face so hard that i've seen colors, i can't imagine any shitty little punker is gonna do all that much damage.
its just lame. i saw both of the kids who were hitting me later that night at Denny's and i smiled at them. they just grimaced at me.
silly kids.
maybe one day they'll come across someone like me who isn't concerned for the welfare of others and they'll get their jaws broken...
so anyway, i'm back. i'll be hitting journals in the next day or so.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
One of the unexpected suprises of the weekend.
-PT
See you soon.