there's this thing i've been working on the past few months. in truth, i've been working on it on some level ever since i landed this gig and will continue to do so for as long as i'm here. the government sees this thing out there that they believe needs to be regulated and have taken extensive steps to take away what are your constitutionally guaranteed rights. no biggie, i s'pose, its something that they do with increasing frequency with things like the patriot act or the geschtapo tactics employed by the secret service to muzzle political demonstrations.
in most cases i'm really fucking good at what i do. sometimes the proposals are defeated in committee and sometimes we convince partisan leadership to not bring the bill up for the vote once it reaches the floor. on two occaisions the bills have been signed into law and we've had to go to court to get a bunch of dudes in black robes to rule that the laws are violations of free speech. a bit of a bother but in the end worth the effort.
it all started as a blip on my legislative radar. a bill proposed by an assembly member from sf needed my tender loving smackdown. it turned out that the bill proved to be more resilient than most and survived numerous letters, e-mails, faxes, phone calls, and testimonies. everybody knew that this law was 'crap' (as stated by governor jingle-all-the-way's cabinet member to me last week) and yet it survived. behind the scenes, the bill's sponsor was pulling every dirty trick in the book, strong-arming it through committee and then floor votes on both the assembly and senate.
and now for the big anticlimatic finale. governor kindergarden cop signed the bill into law on tuesday in what was more or less a worst case scenario type of thing for me and the businesses i represent. from what i've been able to deduce, dear watson, is that the governator is playing a well-crafted political game here. there's a number of bills like the one i've been waging war against that--despite receiving the signature of governor eraser--will be rendered moot if a proposition that is on the next ballot is approved by the voters in the state of kull-eee-fon-yaa. oh, and guess who signed on to endorse this proposition a scant two weeks ago.. governor last action hero.
now if you've made it this far through this entry, its worth paying attention to this next part. as advised by his legislative staff, the governor is playing one side against the other. he passes the 'crap' law to curry favor from assemblyman dirty tricks. he also endorses a proposition that could render this same law null and void if approved by popular vote. i did a little background research and found that the backers of the proposition are primarily the state and local chambers of commerce in california. translation: the guys with money. those that are opposed to the proposition are generally environmental groups and minority civil justice associations aka the little guys that are scraping by. but it gets better. the cabinet member, governor conan's legislative advisor, that i've been communicating with was previously the head lobbyist for the state chamber of commerce. by passing this law and its craptacular bretheren, the governor and his true constituents in the chamber of commerce (the ones who bankrolled his campaign and have contributed to his substantial re-election war chest) are conscripting businesses like the ones i represent into supporting the proposition that they paid to get placed on the next ballot.
what does all this mean? it means that i got played. plain and simple. i lost and there ain't a damn thing i can do about it. if i try to work to get the proposition passed, the law i've been trying to defeat will be de facto declawed but i'll have worked against minority rights and environmental groups, two causes that i hold very dear. if i work towards rejecting governor commando's proposition, then all of the effort i've put in since march was for nothing. in the meantime, i've been encouraged by my boss, the company president, and the chairman of the board of directors to try and improve our standing in the state capitol. they want me to do whatever it takes to seize the initiative and gain greater influence, whateverthefuck that's supposed to mean.
if anybody needs me, i'll be out back giving hand jobs in exchange for committee consideration. hell, i may even give up some of my sweet ass for a proxy.
in most cases i'm really fucking good at what i do. sometimes the proposals are defeated in committee and sometimes we convince partisan leadership to not bring the bill up for the vote once it reaches the floor. on two occaisions the bills have been signed into law and we've had to go to court to get a bunch of dudes in black robes to rule that the laws are violations of free speech. a bit of a bother but in the end worth the effort.
it all started as a blip on my legislative radar. a bill proposed by an assembly member from sf needed my tender loving smackdown. it turned out that the bill proved to be more resilient than most and survived numerous letters, e-mails, faxes, phone calls, and testimonies. everybody knew that this law was 'crap' (as stated by governor jingle-all-the-way's cabinet member to me last week) and yet it survived. behind the scenes, the bill's sponsor was pulling every dirty trick in the book, strong-arming it through committee and then floor votes on both the assembly and senate.
and now for the big anticlimatic finale. governor kindergarden cop signed the bill into law on tuesday in what was more or less a worst case scenario type of thing for me and the businesses i represent. from what i've been able to deduce, dear watson, is that the governator is playing a well-crafted political game here. there's a number of bills like the one i've been waging war against that--despite receiving the signature of governor eraser--will be rendered moot if a proposition that is on the next ballot is approved by the voters in the state of kull-eee-fon-yaa. oh, and guess who signed on to endorse this proposition a scant two weeks ago.. governor last action hero.
now if you've made it this far through this entry, its worth paying attention to this next part. as advised by his legislative staff, the governor is playing one side against the other. he passes the 'crap' law to curry favor from assemblyman dirty tricks. he also endorses a proposition that could render this same law null and void if approved by popular vote. i did a little background research and found that the backers of the proposition are primarily the state and local chambers of commerce in california. translation: the guys with money. those that are opposed to the proposition are generally environmental groups and minority civil justice associations aka the little guys that are scraping by. but it gets better. the cabinet member, governor conan's legislative advisor, that i've been communicating with was previously the head lobbyist for the state chamber of commerce. by passing this law and its craptacular bretheren, the governor and his true constituents in the chamber of commerce (the ones who bankrolled his campaign and have contributed to his substantial re-election war chest) are conscripting businesses like the ones i represent into supporting the proposition that they paid to get placed on the next ballot.
what does all this mean? it means that i got played. plain and simple. i lost and there ain't a damn thing i can do about it. if i try to work to get the proposition passed, the law i've been trying to defeat will be de facto declawed but i'll have worked against minority rights and environmental groups, two causes that i hold very dear. if i work towards rejecting governor commando's proposition, then all of the effort i've put in since march was for nothing. in the meantime, i've been encouraged by my boss, the company president, and the chairman of the board of directors to try and improve our standing in the state capitol. they want me to do whatever it takes to seize the initiative and gain greater influence, whateverthefuck that's supposed to mean.
if anybody needs me, i'll be out back giving hand jobs in exchange for committee consideration. hell, i may even give up some of my sweet ass for a proxy.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Sorry you got hosed, and so badly. I guess we never really talk work too much but it sounds like your daily existence of political maneuvering is about the same as mine. Although you're certainly working on a much higher level.
So when's the next surf date? There might be the slightest of chances to go out tomorrow, but I gotta be back in time to catch Air at the Bowl. I think I'd be down for something early morning, later in the week, now that I have a sense of what this job is about. Delivering a new episode on Tuesday morning so that automatically disqualifies Monday and Tuesday. I think any day after that is a relatively safe bet.