the big boss man aka the president of my company just walked into my office to thank me for all the hard working and heavy lifting i did for the big porn show. i'm taking the handshake he offered as a signal for me to stop all productivity, step up on top of my little soap box, and spit out a summary of the events of the past few days.
for those of you that don't know, i was in las vegas from wednesday thru sunday doing my impression of joseph desire mobutu sese seko kuku ngbendu wa za banga in the press room of the 2003 adult video news adult entertainment expo, hereforth known as the big porn show. my impression wasn't as good as i would have liked it to be because i failed to rock the leopard skin cap like president mobutu, who's name i believe translates into "the all-powerful warrior who, because of his fortitude and unwavering desire to defeat all who challenge him, will go from conquest to conquest leaving fire in his wake." imagine, for a moment, trying to fit that on a name tag.
i returned from vegas late last night after having offered to keep shifty company on the drive to los angeles. the employer had purchased a ticket for me to fly back from sin city but i figured it'd be more fun to bullshit with my brother while we tried to smoke one another under the proverbial table. shifty had a quarter of chron and i had my last sizeable nug of kush so the ride as positively more enjoyable than trying to fight the power and crush of people at the airport. i'm still pretty fucking exhausted from the impressive schedule of working and partying that i maintained. my feet still hurt like hell but it feels damn good to be back in la.
i don't have a digital camera so here's some verbal snapshots of my time working for the big vibrating machine that is the adult entertainment industry...
i've never talked to so many people over five days before. there must've been at least a thousand people that marched in the press room that i had to talk to, most of whom needed some sort of favor or interview appointment or other help from an assortment of hook-ups.
how can so many of the parties suck ass? at least one of the events that i went to last year was good but all of 'em blew large, sour milk-smelling chunks. events i attended include adam & eve, jill kelly productions, aim, sean michaels international, the erotic networks, and playboy. the only good thing about most the parties was the open bar, which was perilously paired with boredom. hopefully this hustler thing i got invited to next month will make up for some of the lame-ocity.
eric allen's friend has nice boobies.
how is it that every female i met and had a somewhat interesting conversation with has a boyfriend?
the mania that fills people when it comes to free videos or dvds never fails to amaze me.
met and talked to tons of people that get naked and fuck for a living. the most interesting was johnnie keyes, the first black male porn star.
casey kasem's daughter is pretty fucking hot.
cruising the strip in one of those big ass suv limos turned out to be pretty fun.
money b's expression when i asked him if he hated q-tip for biting his flow was priceless.
pearline thinks i'm cute.
the tree ain't too tall if i can climb it.
publicists seem to have an inexhaustable supply of valium.
for those of you that don't know, i was in las vegas from wednesday thru sunday doing my impression of joseph desire mobutu sese seko kuku ngbendu wa za banga in the press room of the 2003 adult video news adult entertainment expo, hereforth known as the big porn show. my impression wasn't as good as i would have liked it to be because i failed to rock the leopard skin cap like president mobutu, who's name i believe translates into "the all-powerful warrior who, because of his fortitude and unwavering desire to defeat all who challenge him, will go from conquest to conquest leaving fire in his wake." imagine, for a moment, trying to fit that on a name tag.
i returned from vegas late last night after having offered to keep shifty company on the drive to los angeles. the employer had purchased a ticket for me to fly back from sin city but i figured it'd be more fun to bullshit with my brother while we tried to smoke one another under the proverbial table. shifty had a quarter of chron and i had my last sizeable nug of kush so the ride as positively more enjoyable than trying to fight the power and crush of people at the airport. i'm still pretty fucking exhausted from the impressive schedule of working and partying that i maintained. my feet still hurt like hell but it feels damn good to be back in la.
i don't have a digital camera so here's some verbal snapshots of my time working for the big vibrating machine that is the adult entertainment industry...
i've never talked to so many people over five days before. there must've been at least a thousand people that marched in the press room that i had to talk to, most of whom needed some sort of favor or interview appointment or other help from an assortment of hook-ups.
how can so many of the parties suck ass? at least one of the events that i went to last year was good but all of 'em blew large, sour milk-smelling chunks. events i attended include adam & eve, jill kelly productions, aim, sean michaels international, the erotic networks, and playboy. the only good thing about most the parties was the open bar, which was perilously paired with boredom. hopefully this hustler thing i got invited to next month will make up for some of the lame-ocity.
eric allen's friend has nice boobies.
how is it that every female i met and had a somewhat interesting conversation with has a boyfriend?
the mania that fills people when it comes to free videos or dvds never fails to amaze me.
met and talked to tons of people that get naked and fuck for a living. the most interesting was johnnie keyes, the first black male porn star.
casey kasem's daughter is pretty fucking hot.
cruising the strip in one of those big ass suv limos turned out to be pretty fun.
money b's expression when i asked him if he hated q-tip for biting his flow was priceless.
pearline thinks i'm cute.
the tree ain't too tall if i can climb it.
publicists seem to have an inexhaustable supply of valium.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i refuse to acknowledge them.
no no no.