at the top of today's news... the homeboy bryan, who has recently re-located to vegas from the wilds of roanoke, va, will be visiting me tomorrow. he said he was just going to spend one night before hitting up ikea and heading back to vegas. i managed to convince him of the error in his thinking as i would be unavailable to party on friday nite due to my engagement with the gmat on saturday afternoon. so he's resolved to spend an extra nite in la to party with me before returning to vegas. bryan makes a shit load more money than i do so perhaps i'll be able to convince him to check out the much-cooler-than-ikea furniture stores on la brea and then i can furniture shop vicariously through him. interior decorating really is a snap when you've got loads of loot to spend. its kind of funny because bryan used to make fun of my family and how my dad made soooo much money and how we were soooo loaded. now i'm stuck making what i make and he's getting pizzz-aid selling this gi-mongous air conditioniong units to casinos and what-not. but that fucker works his ass off so its pretty obvious that he earns it while i pick my ass at the office when i'm not posting on discussion boards or wiping the drool off my chin after looking at maya or gabe's pictures.
a funny story that's probably only funny to me and bryan and a few other guys. back in high school when we were playing football, during one of the after school practices, i remember standing around doing what boys who play football in high school do, namely bullshit about chicks and fucking and stuff. the topic of the day was blow jobs and we were all laughing and punching each other and doing what boys who play football in high school do. the team was having a full-squad scrimmage and bryan, our friend paul, and i went in to play for the defensive secondary. paul and bryan were at the corners and i was in the middle as the free safety. i guess the offense decided to get cheeky and they called a trick play, a toss or option pass where the running back takes the ball from the qb and throws it downfield to the wide receiver. bryan bit on the toss and the guy he was supposed to be covering was running downfield wide open. the running back threw the ball downfield to the receiver that bryan was supposed to cover, who would've caught the ball, scored and therefore made the defense run laps or do some sort of masochistic shit if not for me, the cagey free safety, who went flying in to break up the pass. elated with my smart play i pointed to bryan and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "YOU OWE ME A BLOW JOB!!!" despite the fact that i was playing in a scrimmage, i was still thinking about fellatio. being how boys who play football in high school, the rest of the team and a few of the coaches made good use of that phrase over the next few weeks.
and i have yet to collect
a funny story that's probably only funny to me and bryan and a few other guys. back in high school when we were playing football, during one of the after school practices, i remember standing around doing what boys who play football in high school do, namely bullshit about chicks and fucking and stuff. the topic of the day was blow jobs and we were all laughing and punching each other and doing what boys who play football in high school do. the team was having a full-squad scrimmage and bryan, our friend paul, and i went in to play for the defensive secondary. paul and bryan were at the corners and i was in the middle as the free safety. i guess the offense decided to get cheeky and they called a trick play, a toss or option pass where the running back takes the ball from the qb and throws it downfield to the wide receiver. bryan bit on the toss and the guy he was supposed to be covering was running downfield wide open. the running back threw the ball downfield to the receiver that bryan was supposed to cover, who would've caught the ball, scored and therefore made the defense run laps or do some sort of masochistic shit if not for me, the cagey free safety, who went flying in to break up the pass. elated with my smart play i pointed to bryan and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "YOU OWE ME A BLOW JOB!!!" despite the fact that i was playing in a scrimmage, i was still thinking about fellatio. being how boys who play football in high school, the rest of the team and a few of the coaches made good use of that phrase over the next few weeks.
and i have yet to collect
