bob_dobalina

my boss is in barbados for the next week so work hasn't been the regular dosages of enema-induced madness lately, and that's a special thing. quand le chat est partir, this mouse dances like a motherfucker. i bailed on the office early yesterday to meet up with dambae on the westside and play a little twilight golf. it was a perfect southern california afternoon and i was thrilled to be chasing a small white ball around a large green field with my brother instead of sitting in my office or stuck in traffic. i had just smoked a 270 yard drive down the right side of the fairway when i saw a squirrel's butt stucking out of one of the pockets in my golf bag. the bushy-tailed fucker had chewed a hole in my bag and was looting the stash of peanut butter granola bars inside. yeah it's just a bag that holds a bunch of shit and my golf clubs but this thing was pretty damned expensive. it's got a special lightweight design and straps so that i can carry it comfortably when i walk courses, weatherproof materials, insulated pockets to keep drinks cold, and a titanium stand built in. and now it's got a big hole in it. i can only hope that my tailor can figure out some way to repair the thing. but i'll be damned if i swerve to avoid squrrels in traffic anymore.

in other sporting news i went and played a bit of paintball when i was in vegas. some people gamble, others patronize the assortment of nudie bars, but i choose to get dirty and shoot paint. man, i'm such a redneck. did i mention that i wear those overalls without a shirt underneath? anyways, my friend and i were kicking some ass and some kid asks us if we played on ironmen, a professional paintball team (yes, there IS such a thing). oh man, we got a hell of a laugh from that. it's kind of like asking someone on the pickup basketball courts if he plays for the lakers.

lots of other shit happened in vegas like partying with playboy playmates and humping silent bob but the most interesting and unexpected person i met was ivan nagy, aka heidi fleiss' original pimp. ivan has gone from professional ballet dancer to a producer of soft-core pornography over the course of his career. i wonder how my guidance counselor in high school would've reacted if i'd said that i wanted to be a ballet dancer and producer of urban-themed softcore porn while balancing a prostitution ring headed by the hollywood madam heidi fleiss when i grew up. at least she couldn't have accused me of not having focus.