I'm posting this really for SunshineDust because it came up in a conversation this evening.
This is something I posted on my myspace journal when I first joined, after I was featured on that "cool new friends" thing that shows up when one goes to the myspace home page.
Note: This has nothing to do with people on SG who send me friend requests. Those I deny for completely different reasons
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Rules for friending me
So apparentely I am both "new" and "cool" and around here cool + new = every motherfucker on myspace sending me emails and wanting to be my friend.
To those of you who got added as a friend, you are in the top 10% of people I came across. Seriously. For every person I added, there were around 10 I clicked on that good ol "deny" button without a second thought.
So, why, you might be asking, would I choose to deny someone?
Lets take a look at some of the things that will make me hate you. A lot.
1) please, for the love of god, people, make your profile readable. Sure, that kickin photo of Dokken would make a great background in your mind, but then pair it with a tiny text in a color that is pretty close to the background, and, well, I wont even READ your profile. Right into the "deny" pile. Friends dont subject friends to bad HTML
2) Before you clicked to add me as a friend, did you read my profile? Did you see the stuff I'm into? At what point did you think we had something in common? Mr "Dokken rules" guy, i'm lookin at you.
3) Chances are, if you are under the age of 18, I'm not gonna add you. Unless you seem seriously kick ass, chances are we wont have much to talk about. Plus, you are also more likely to have a profile page that I cant read.
4) We ALL know how that "Float On" song by "Modest Mouse" goes. I have heard it on no less than 15 profile pages today. Dont molest me with your music. And whats worse? I have ran into more than one occation where there is some audio track on the profile page and a couple of people have left comments with audio tracks and all music and no content makes stephy go .... something something
5) People, have an opinion about music. I understand "variety". If you start iTunes on my computer and put it to random, you may have a They Might Be Giants tune followed by Snoop Dogg followed by traditional turkish bellydance music. But for fucks sake, say that. You could be the nicest, smartest, best looking person in the world and if you say "I like all kinds of music!" as your only answer to the "music" part of your profile, I will personally fly out to where you live and knee you in the groin.
6) If you are a male and there is a picture of your penis, just, stop.
7) In addition to your intrests and bio and whatnot, I also look at the number of friends you have. Over 100? Unless something else is really stand out, or youre local, I probably wont add you since youre just one of those serial "frienders". A girl likes to feel special.
8) Because I like to make examples of people, here is an actual message I got from someone wanting to friend me:
wow, all i can say is wow. you are GORGEOUS! damn, do you have any other pics of yourself i could see? (no matter how revealing they may be but the pervert in me must tell you the more revealing the better!) if you are to be so kind and send me some my email is *deleted by me*. you can IM me on aol/aim under the same name and i can also be found on yahoo messenger as *deleted by me*. hope to hear from and see you soon. don't forget to add me as a friend. till' then...........xoxo
I shouldnt even have to explain that one. Look, I have no problem with showing my titties on this here interweb. At least where I've shown mine, people have to pay.
9) If you label your band as "experimental" and come off sounding like a knock off Good Charlotte band, I will laugh at you first, then deny you.
10) if your profile contains the word "Hoobastank" without being followed by the word "blows", denyville for you.
11) going back to that whole thing where I look at your friends: If you are male and most of your friends are girls in some state of undress and arent classy 50's pinups, you are a douchebag and shouldnt have even bothered. Let me let you in on a little secret, skippy. Having pixelated images of girls, bent over the hoods of cars, on your friends list does not make you cool.
Take heed, good people!
This is something I posted on my myspace journal when I first joined, after I was featured on that "cool new friends" thing that shows up when one goes to the myspace home page.
Note: This has nothing to do with people on SG who send me friend requests. Those I deny for completely different reasons
-----
Rules for friending me
So apparentely I am both "new" and "cool" and around here cool + new = every motherfucker on myspace sending me emails and wanting to be my friend.
To those of you who got added as a friend, you are in the top 10% of people I came across. Seriously. For every person I added, there were around 10 I clicked on that good ol "deny" button without a second thought.
So, why, you might be asking, would I choose to deny someone?
Lets take a look at some of the things that will make me hate you. A lot.
1) please, for the love of god, people, make your profile readable. Sure, that kickin photo of Dokken would make a great background in your mind, but then pair it with a tiny text in a color that is pretty close to the background, and, well, I wont even READ your profile. Right into the "deny" pile. Friends dont subject friends to bad HTML
2) Before you clicked to add me as a friend, did you read my profile? Did you see the stuff I'm into? At what point did you think we had something in common? Mr "Dokken rules" guy, i'm lookin at you.
3) Chances are, if you are under the age of 18, I'm not gonna add you. Unless you seem seriously kick ass, chances are we wont have much to talk about. Plus, you are also more likely to have a profile page that I cant read.
4) We ALL know how that "Float On" song by "Modest Mouse" goes. I have heard it on no less than 15 profile pages today. Dont molest me with your music. And whats worse? I have ran into more than one occation where there is some audio track on the profile page and a couple of people have left comments with audio tracks and all music and no content makes stephy go .... something something
5) People, have an opinion about music. I understand "variety". If you start iTunes on my computer and put it to random, you may have a They Might Be Giants tune followed by Snoop Dogg followed by traditional turkish bellydance music. But for fucks sake, say that. You could be the nicest, smartest, best looking person in the world and if you say "I like all kinds of music!" as your only answer to the "music" part of your profile, I will personally fly out to where you live and knee you in the groin.
6) If you are a male and there is a picture of your penis, just, stop.
7) In addition to your intrests and bio and whatnot, I also look at the number of friends you have. Over 100? Unless something else is really stand out, or youre local, I probably wont add you since youre just one of those serial "frienders". A girl likes to feel special.
8) Because I like to make examples of people, here is an actual message I got from someone wanting to friend me:
wow, all i can say is wow. you are GORGEOUS! damn, do you have any other pics of yourself i could see? (no matter how revealing they may be but the pervert in me must tell you the more revealing the better!) if you are to be so kind and send me some my email is *deleted by me*. you can IM me on aol/aim under the same name and i can also be found on yahoo messenger as *deleted by me*. hope to hear from and see you soon. don't forget to add me as a friend. till' then...........xoxo
I shouldnt even have to explain that one. Look, I have no problem with showing my titties on this here interweb. At least where I've shown mine, people have to pay.
9) If you label your band as "experimental" and come off sounding like a knock off Good Charlotte band, I will laugh at you first, then deny you.
10) if your profile contains the word "Hoobastank" without being followed by the word "blows", denyville for you.
11) going back to that whole thing where I look at your friends: If you are male and most of your friends are girls in some state of undress and arent classy 50's pinups, you are a douchebag and shouldnt have even bothered. Let me let you in on a little secret, skippy. Having pixelated images of girls, bent over the hoods of cars, on your friends list does not make you cool.
Take heed, good people!
VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
bastardo:
That's almost EXACTLY what was on one of my birthday cards. Crazy, huh?
wildherb:
lol , i like your sarcasam and noble truth you have a good heart and you must be a wonderful person. 