blueeyedangel

I just read your comment in Sabine's journal.

I went through this exact situation last year, but I was on the girl end of it. It is hard. It sucks. I hated every minute of it and cried my eyes out like your girl is.

BUT...

I was grateful that he had the balls to end it because he knew it was right to end it. He spared me more pain by ending it when he knew it was right instead of torturing me by saying, "Let's give it a bit longer." He said that once, and I spent the next two weeks worrying that anything I did would push him into breakup land. Ultimately, that doomed the relationship, and I felt horrible that he had stayed with me a bit longer just to spare my feelings a bit.

It was hard to be friends at first...VERY hard...but we eventually got through it. So tell her. You might lose her as a friend, but you have to understand that from the dumped person's perspective, it's very hard to take someone you were in love with and just see them as a friend.

Anyway...it's late...and I did have a point. Tell her now. If you don't love her, you're only hurting her more by sticking around. I've been in your spot too, and I hated hurting the guy I left, but it was best for both of us that I did it as soon as I realized I didn't love him anymore.

Good luck.

thanks a lot for sharing your story with me.
I know that i've done the right thing. It's just that the right thing is seldom the easiest way. Thanks for the support.
I just hope she gets through it okay/alive.

I overanalyze things too.
I think maybe we all secretly fear meeting someone who is all that we want. Or maybe it just doesn't feel right. I don't know. I've had guys break up with me and then later tell me "I was having issues." I hate the word "issues," my ex used it far too often as a cop-out. All I can say is be a man about it and talk to her about what you feel. Tell her you don't know what the problem is. The worst thing you can do is fake it when you don't feel it, so tell her up-front what you're feeling.
I am the queen of getting involved with guys who fall for me right away and then later get ambivalent. It's the story of my life. I only wish that the ones who'd done that to me had had the balls to actually talk to me about it.
"Attractive" is a tough one....I think too many people buy into the image of what they should be attracted to and want to cling to it even though it's not making them happy. If you were once crazy about her and now are not so much, maybe you should think about when that change came about, and if there was anything that she did or anything outside of your relationship that happened in your life at the same time...

I've seen the Rev about 10 times...he's always around, and he's coming back here soon. Love that man.

Hank was cool, but Elvis was COOL. How many people can say that there's a legion of men out there trying to dress exactly like him? I think the amount of impersonators alone might tip the balance in his favor....

don't be passive-aggressive. it will bite you in the arse.

Ok, so I had a lovely date....I just need to learn to be more patient. 'Tis a problem I have. I do love the idea of people lining up outside my door to be my date, though.

there's another list for guys I wanna marry. that one's the list of guys that if they walked into a room, I would fall down and say "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" It's hard to explain...but don't worry, I have plenty of hockey boys that I obsess over. Mark Messier just fits into the "Cool" list better than any of the rest. He's not even my favorite, he's just...well...Messier.