I know that you need to be on your own. As much as I hate to say that because it hurts so much. You need to clear your mind. It would be best for you to cut ties with both of us, but with Ciera (the daughter) you can't really do that. You don't need constant pressure from either one of us. You just need a gentle reminder from us that we are here for you no matter what. I am saying this because I do, genuinely love and care about you so much that I am willing to hurt myself if it means you end up truly happy in the end. Love doesn't bind. Love sets you free. You are my angel your light is meant to shine brightly on this world. I want your light to be as bright as it is meant to be. I look at you and am wowed with what I see, I thank God that you are my morning and my night and the stars that shine come from your eyes. It isn't just the physical beauty with you it is your spirit. It is amazing and beautiful. I love you. I don't want to let go, I want to hold on for a million years. You don't belong to me, you don't belong to anyone, you are your own person with your own mind, heart and spirit. You need to remember this. You are my love and that makes you more precious than anything else to me, which makes me want to prove muself to you every second of every day. I love you, I love you, I love you. I always will and if one day you call because you simply need a friend , I will be there to be a friend. Love is patient and kind and love is not selfish. I don't want you to ever forget that I love you enough to hurt me so that you can be happy. Don't think that that means that I don't need you or want you. I so do need and want you. I also know that you need this. Cris (the ex-wife) might be an amazing person, but if she is treating this as if she is a shoo-in then she's not giving you the chance you need. I love you, "don't forget me, I'm gone just remember you said sometimes it last in love and sometimes it hurts instead."
Ok so I stole that last bit from Adele.
What hurts the most is that this afternoon she left our place after packing up and then had to go see her ex to get money to pay for the midnight Black Friday Christmas shopping that she did for the kid on the understanding that her ex would give her the money as her ex was not able to get into her local Wal Mart to get some of the deals like the Wii and such that she wanted to get her daughter for Christmas. Here I sit, knowing that I cannot text or call unless she calls or texts me and then Sunday night I cancelled a drag performance because her ex was going to be there and this constant competition between the two of us for drag is ridiculous. We're both good kings, but Sunday she will be there with her ex because she manages her ex. It feels like I got the raw end of the deal, but I also get that they have a history but if it is meant to be it will be.
