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bloodpudding

Det(riot), Michigan

Member Since 2004

Followers 4 Following 5

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Thursday Dec 03, 2009

Dec 3, 2009
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Cyber Monday, all the supposed bargains! I ordered several items in time for Christmas, most of the from Fry's. All the items from Frys came back with a confirmations and invoice numbers, followed shortly by emails that none of the items were in stock.
I thought I was going to come across as particularly generous this year, now I guess I will be. It's hard when you feel you've found the perfect gift for someone and suddenly it's not there. Family comes first, I don't have that many anymore. Then a few old friends.I have certain charities I like but they really require a commitment. Smile Train is my favorite, worthy of a thousand dollars or so a year. I know there are people who might be starving, here and abroad. I don't wanna get biblical but the poor will always be among us. The chance to advance someone beyond abject poverty into a chance of social acceptance despite native superstition...It may not seem like much but you've totally transfigured someone who succumbs to the concept of worthlesness and the stigma of being punished somehow by a supreme being or just being too unattractive to entice a prospective mate.
Several psychiatrists have signed off on me as being unreasonable, intolerant, defiant of authority. I just get pissed off when...oh hell, I just get pissed off. In 30+ years of striving to be a perfectionast I realized I actually was one. So I snapped.
I like to believe I began this life nave, progressed to an idealist, became a pessimist, then a realist. then back to a state of naivety. It's a romantic ideal of course, but I prefer to think people are basically good and nurturing. I know, what a dweeb... But if I live in a fantasy it may as well be pleasant.
I realize I contradict myself regularlly. I suspect there aren't enough shrinks or meds to make me who I used to be, I'm not sure I'd want to be. There's a direction out there I haven't discovered yet, but I know it's just around the corner.
Anyone familiar with the old movie "Harvey" starring Jimmy Steward as Elwood P. Dodd, a pleasant man and seeming drunkard who hangs with an invisible 6+ foot rabbit, a puka? I love this film overall for its sense of innocence, but there's a scene I particularly like, where Elwood proclaims, my mother told me Elwood (mother always called me Elwood), "Elwood in this life you must be oh so clever, or oh so pleasant. For years I tried clever, but I prefer pleasant."
For what it's worth and no matter how foolish it sounds, thats pretty much where I'm back to. I love this site, I'm not sure why. It has less to do with the beautiful women than the few beautiful minds I've been allowed a glimpse into. In all these years I really have nothing to show on my page, fine by me. The better contacts I've had in the past just went straight to my e-mail address. I still prefer it really, although I'd like to have at least a comment or two here.
That said, It's time to end this thought, and move on to another venture. My best to all.
aldremech:
All the best to you sir.
Dec 4, 2009

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