as if everything else wasn't enough i wrecked my van today. there is a 4" wide gash the entire length of my passenger side and 2 busted windows.
i swear i can't win this shitty game called life.
i hope the insurance totals out my van and i get to buy a newer car. the van still runs and i can go to the salvage...
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i swear i can't win this shitty game called life.
i hope the insurance totals out my van and i get to buy a newer car. the van still runs and i can go to the salvage...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
things are awful...depression is at an all time high....if i cry anymore i think my eyes are going to fall out...i absolutely abhore life sometimes.
i am tired of putting on a happy face.
i am tired of putting on a happy face.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
escottie:
'tis the season. i'm in the same hole. 
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
thecowboy:
looks like im gonna be at fuckin azia tonite instead of the triple rock. the back room. im pals with a bartender and im tryin to save $$$, so...just thought id let you know. smootches, cutie-pie!! 
souljerk:
Alive: Maybe
Kicking: Don't bet on it
Yeah I ended up working tonight at the turf Tuesday that is. I think I reached the bottom of my funk well. What ever.
The Penguin showed up at work tonight but I managed to ignore her entirely. But this shit is getting creepy. She called me and emailed me and then just showed up at my work with some of her friends. That 2 unreturned phone calls and an unreturned email and she still thinks it's a good idea to show up at my work. I don't know maybe I still might be able to shake her off my trail.
I found out some other news today from my exs brothers girlfriend, who is friends with my ex. I was telling her the story of the introductions. The one were my ex kept bringing friends down stairs and introducing them to me as the love of here life. And then later telling me we had things to talk about or she had something she wanted to tell me, and then proceeded to want to play a little kissy face with me. Gave me here new cell phone number and then told me to call here when I got home. So I did and she did not answer or call me back for like 3 weeks. Well the news that her brothers girlfriend told me was that my ex is dating /seeing some guy that she is tight with, and that she is going through some shit she wouldnt say what but the point is. What the fuck???? The whole problem is she is doing what she is doing but didnt tell me she was seeing anyone and its been like 2 years and I still have feeling for this girl.
All in all I feel like a lifeless marble constantly getting smacked out of the circle. I can't seem to feel my feet touching the ground. But it's not like I am light with delight. But so heavy I have become one with the ground. My connection with established reality has slipped, I look around, just as I thought I was starting to understand; every next step seems further away and out of focus.
And then also today I ran into my most recent ex who I was only with for like 4 months if that. She was all polite and what not, which is great, good, fine. But then slips in the we should meet for a beer sometime. I feel like I am in some weird holly wood movie, Like better off dead. Lets see how much weird ass shit we can put this guy through in a matter of hours and then some how at the end make him out to be the beloved hero. Only drama queens and the Hero carry this mind set and the hero road out of town into the sunset yesterday, and I anit no fucking drama queen.
Kicking: Don't bet on it
Yeah I ended up working tonight at the turf Tuesday that is. I think I reached the bottom of my funk well. What ever.
The Penguin showed up at work tonight but I managed to ignore her entirely. But this shit is getting creepy. She called me and emailed me and then just showed up at my work with some of her friends. That 2 unreturned phone calls and an unreturned email and she still thinks it's a good idea to show up at my work. I don't know maybe I still might be able to shake her off my trail.
I found out some other news today from my exs brothers girlfriend, who is friends with my ex. I was telling her the story of the introductions. The one were my ex kept bringing friends down stairs and introducing them to me as the love of here life. And then later telling me we had things to talk about or she had something she wanted to tell me, and then proceeded to want to play a little kissy face with me. Gave me here new cell phone number and then told me to call here when I got home. So I did and she did not answer or call me back for like 3 weeks. Well the news that her brothers girlfriend told me was that my ex is dating /seeing some guy that she is tight with, and that she is going through some shit she wouldnt say what but the point is. What the fuck???? The whole problem is she is doing what she is doing but didnt tell me she was seeing anyone and its been like 2 years and I still have feeling for this girl.
All in all I feel like a lifeless marble constantly getting smacked out of the circle. I can't seem to feel my feet touching the ground. But it's not like I am light with delight. But so heavy I have become one with the ground. My connection with established reality has slipped, I look around, just as I thought I was starting to understand; every next step seems further away and out of focus.
And then also today I ran into my most recent ex who I was only with for like 4 months if that. She was all polite and what not, which is great, good, fine. But then slips in the we should meet for a beer sometime. I feel like I am in some weird holly wood movie, Like better off dead. Lets see how much weird ass shit we can put this guy through in a matter of hours and then some how at the end make him out to be the beloved hero. Only drama queens and the Hero carry this mind set and the hero road out of town into the sunset yesterday, and I anit no fucking drama queen.
nothing happened...
anywhere, EVER....
there smitty, are you HAPPY?????????
anywhere, EVER....
there smitty, are you HAPPY?????????
suicidesmitty:
i'm just happy to have such a super friend.
puppydog smoochies.
puppydog smoochies.
anomalous:
nothing happened anywhere ever? WTF?!!!!
Aren't you forgetting "The MAYO"???????
Aren't you forgetting "Do you smell gas?"
Aren't you forgetting "The MAYO"???????
Aren't you forgetting "Do you smell gas?"
oh my god!!! 
the best freakin' time was had last nite.
the SGTC crew was out in full effect at the Kentucky Gag Order show, which i might add was AWESOME!!!!!!!
holy shit were we a rowdy bunch. singing journey songs and slow dancing, ripping clothes off of people, sorry neodrunk for anomalous behavior, he has a crush on you
drinking, dancing and just having...
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the best freakin' time was had last nite.
the SGTC crew was out in full effect at the Kentucky Gag Order show, which i might add was AWESOME!!!!!!!
holy shit were we a rowdy bunch. singing journey songs and slow dancing, ripping clothes off of people, sorry neodrunk for anomalous behavior, he has a crush on you
drinking, dancing and just having... Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
halsonic:
I should have gone.
honkeykong:
-god, i love rowdy drunken people.
goodmorning
today has much promise. i am going to xylos - "a gallery of fine woodworking" with troy. then we are having sushi and then it's the kentucky gag order show.
*sigh*...i like hanging with troy...
he gave me this rad effects board for my bass the other night. i have yet to get time to use it but i can't wait.
the KGO show...
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today has much promise. i am going to xylos - "a gallery of fine woodworking" with troy. then we are having sushi and then it's the kentucky gag order show.
*sigh*...i like hanging with troy...
he gave me this rad effects board for my bass the other night. i have yet to get time to use it but i can't wait.
the KGO show...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
ajspellbound:
What kind of bass? (Me: 2 Steinbergers and a pre-CBS Fender P)
Also, I know that scene...you may want to rent "Amelie" and feel good about French film again...
Also, I know that scene...you may want to rent "Amelie" and feel good about French film again...
neodrunk:
Some pornography last night as I stroked myself to sleep.
went to the mark mothersbaugh exhibit with souljerk last nite. very cool stuff. if you haven't trotted on down to see it, you should. had a wonderful time, drew is such a sweety, uh, i mean a rotten, no good CAT KILLA!!! he sucks (i promised to keep his good nature a secret) 
.
then i had the opportunity to meet the most wonderful amplexus23...
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.
then i had the opportunity to meet the most wonderful amplexus23...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jerry031:
somebody blew me a million kisses. glad you got lots of time off, and i hope you get to break my sg cherry some day. 
krispy:
"question of the day: what was the last nice thing someone did for you?"
leave this - for me.
think of you often. gone from SG soon. you're still in my heart.
rock on witch yo bad self.
leave this -
for me.
think of you often. gone from SG soon. you're still in my heart.
rock on witch yo bad self.
postponed my date with the "coffee shop killa" cause i double booked (forgive me, i am blonde underneath these blood red locks)
i am going to OXOP with souljerk instead. can't wait, he is the shiznit YO (sorry, bad inside "hooked on ebonics" joke). if you guys don't believe me, go see him for yourselves foshizzle. envy me pigs! i get to hang with all...
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i am going to OXOP with souljerk instead. can't wait, he is the shiznit YO (sorry, bad inside "hooked on ebonics" joke). if you guys don't believe me, go see him for yourselves foshizzle.
envy me pigs! i get to hang with all... Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
jerry031:
You know I'd set people on fire to make you smile. And the last song listened to today was "Angel Eyes", Jerry Cantrell.
steel_talons:
i listened to coal chamber "Feed my dreams" last night(early morning).
"i've been watching you for a little over an hour, your hands viciously scribbling out the thoughts that are in that busy head of yours. this isn't the first time i have seen you, in fact we seem to be in the same places quite often. somehow this time i managed to work up the nerve, or work down the nerves as it were, to...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
neodrunk:
Numb-nutless... my "but" was the correct form of but/butt I was looking for. So, butt fuck, what do you have to say now?
neodrunk:
It was late... I was tired... just talked with natas... i mean the stars were in line for a spelling fiasco.
When you have to pull them out
The roots take that soil with them
And what's left behind is not so fertile as before.
Were you emotionally attached to the car at all?
My single neighbor lady has two cars because she can't muster up the strength to get rid of the old one. She is very attached to it even though it doesn't run!