bittersuite102116

this week is going to be weird, my sister and her boyfriend (yeah they got back together) are going to hawaii from saturday-saturday next. home alone. alone to think about things about myself

-i think i am fat
-i have a ton of patience for waiting
-except no patience for doing (new) things
-i am very subtly vein.
-my choices in people i accept into my life narrows as the days go by
-i only read books other people say are good already
-i wish i could own about 50 dogs
-i get off on losing 8 pounds in a weekend
-my excitement level is noticeably nil
-i think i have a stupid looking smile
-most people think i am gay when they meet me
-i havent accomplished anything major since i graduated high school
-i have never had any goals in life
-i am in no way an optimist
-my parents both say theyre really proud of me, but they dont know all the bad things i have done
-i wish i had a louder voice and could talk to people normally
-money and buying things make me very happy
-i have 4 different soaps, 2 hair products, body scrub, 3 facial products, and a loofa i use in the shower
-i can 10 key faster than anyone i know
-i really like to paint and draw but i never do because i don't want to do any bad work.

ok i think i went a little batshit on that oh well. the kings are on in an hour so im gonna go bathe. i dont feel like dying would be a bad thing today, so horray huh.

oh oh i really want to see Closer it just opened today. i asked someone to go, hopefully theyll want to or i guess i will have to wait to netflix it.