bionicfemme

Ok, so I can already tell this is going to be a shitty day.

I woke up from a nightmare. In the dream, I married a certain someone and we had the best of times, she'd always kiss me and call me 'kitten.' Then I wake up to her one morning to find:

DUH-NUHHHH-NUHHHHHHH

She's got a beard and is wearing a flannel shirt!!!!!

I wake up in a cold sweat and my arm hurts because I slept with it pinned behind my back somehow...

So then I go to class and i'm sitting there, apathetically drinking my tea with cream, when all of these girls behind me start screaming "GROSS! OH MY GOD THERE'S A SPIDER ON HER BACK!" and apparently some little brown spider was crawling around in the fur that is in the neck line of my leather jacket. I casually flung the jacket off and tossed it on the floor. "Uh, yeah, that's pretty gross." I said, void of emotion. The girls were screaming in the middle of class at this point. "OHMYGODKILLITKILLITKILLIT" they squealed.

Well, nothing is really hotter than three college aged chicks grabbing each other for dear life and squealing, asking me to save them, is there? I got on the butchest and hardcore of faces, determined to meet my foe.

I stared at it.
It stared at me, with all 8 of its wee, beady eyes.

I squared my jaw and crushed it with my foot. Put my hand on my hip defiantly and grinned. Silence returned. Then a loud wail ensued from the other side of the room. "You meanie! Why did you have to kill it? It shouldn't have had to die!!!!" Two girls looked at me like I was a serial killer.

"Make sure there aren't others in the fur." Some bitch girl added.

"Yeah I make sure I have a nest of them growing in my clothing at all times." I said, turning around and going back to apathetically drinking my tea.

ARRGH! WOMEN!!!!