bionicfemme

The writer's workshop was OK. I ended up writing the most random thing; it was a public service announcement about sex junkies, by "your friendly neighborhood nyphomaniac." I think i'll put it up here soon, but not now 'cause i'm way too tired. Today was kind of a rough day, but it's cool, i'm home and primed to go to sleep.

I kept thinking about what it would be like to be one of the suicidegirls....i'm wondering if I can really go through with it this time. I won't be able to do it immediately, it'll take a while to trick myself into doing, but if I do it, watch out man. lol. I was just thinking today about how cool it is that this site has journals for the girls and the members. I've spent way more time talking to ppl on here than looking at the pics. I am actually way more interested in reading the girls' journals than looking at the pictures. I mean, don't get me wrong, they're hot obviously, but I like to see how each of them have distinct personalities. Like how Tatum is the sweet, shy healer, how Dia is the candid, outspoken muse, how Claudia is the cynical dreamer (which totally sounds like an oxymoron but oh well). What would I be? The poet? The stand-up comedian that takes her clothes off in between acts? The activist dancer who takes no prisoners in a fight? I wonder...I wonder if I could really do this. I know some people don't understand how nude modeling could be liberating, but it really is. I just don't consider myself the world's kinkiest girl, like i'm all shy and I think this would be my way of saying "i'm going to control how much you want me, when, and where, and yes, I can be a sexual being too." Oh sure, I am a sex junkie and 4-6 hours is my norm, but i'm not the one who starts it, and yes i'm uninhibited but no i'm not the one who comes up with the ideas. I don't know what I want, I don't think i've explored the sexual side of myself enough to say exactly want I want except that I want women and that blindfolds are kind of fun I'm an Aries, and the fire flows through me; I just about never say no to sex, which is always good for the other person. I mean, why in God's name would you say no to it? I yearn for sex like a drowning woman gasps for air sometimes. I also realize it isn't everything either. In all actuality, I like kissing better than sex. I feel like it's a conversation, and you can always learn so much about a person from a kiss. But anyway...

**Yawn**. Friday. Friday's the day, baby! I hope Claudia gets here safe, it's a long drive. I'm still nervous and my friends say they will put on black wigs and pretend to be her for the rest of the week as some sort of a rehersal, but I told them it's OK.