Ah crap. I wrote a hella long journal response and when I clicked "submit" it didn't go through because of the site upheaval so...d'oh!
Today at work was boring as usual, it is getting to be less like a hostess job and more like the 7th circle of hell. This stank ass lady requested like 5,000 bars of soap because she can't get rid of her horrid, acrid stench which causes my eyes to tear everytime she comes to the desk to complain about something. She wants a room with a view of the golden gate bridge and I informed her that no such room exists, to which she just gave me shifty eyes and tartly said "Oh, we'll SEE about that." So then I turned on my gameboy, played Doom and shot a whole bunch of monsters to get my mind off the stank ass lady. She's a jerkface.
I was again accosted by this mack daddy pimp playa who insists on hitting on me even though I have informed him I am 500% gay. He said he asked this chick what my work schedule was so he would know when to come visit me. God, what is this, national stalker month? No means no. I'm gay. When I see a guy, I feel like someone shopping for a desklamp at Ikea. It's there. It's a lamp. And no, I do not wish to fuck it. It's just there. I have nothing against men and I was never sexually abused. It's genetics, fool. Actually when I was 5 this 7 year old Mexican chick would always tell me that if I didn't kiss her on the mouth she'd beat me up, so I always did. Ah, little did she know that ya can't rape the willing. But no, I don't hate men, my friend Steve refers to me as "the penis hater" because he somehow does not understand that not wanting to fuck a guy is not equivalent to hating him. I was in love with a boy once; but only because he was my best friend for 5 years and I loved him for his unique personality. He was an african-american punk/breakdancer that would wear hello kitty purses and nail polish, among other women's accessories. Why does my mother not understand I am gay, my only serious boyfriend wore purses for God's sake. I miss him, I wonder where he is now, I haven' t talked to him in four months. He is the only human being i've encountered who acts the most like me. Last I heard from him, he got permanently kicked out of a mall for stealing a "Wet Floor" sign and putting it on a carpet, which I think is hilarious. He also had an aspiration to be Mr. T and kept walking around saying "Cut yo jibba jabba." He is a wonderful person, and that transcends genders, which makes me love him, but I am not physically attracted to him, and in the one year we were dating, we kissed only twice. Each time, I felt like something wasn't right, it felt like a process, like washing my hands. He talked about marrying me last year but I told him I couldn't go back because without a doubt, I love the ladies, but I wished him well. Where are you Adrian? Have you found that boundless love we've both yearned for since we were kids? I wonder. I hope that you have, that you are making a new girl crack up hysterically with punk rock picnics in the park, holding a greasy sack of McDonald's chicken nuggets in one hand and wearing your brother's uniform jacket that he got from working at food for less. What a beautiful boy you are, with your girly baby tees and sparkly pink rings.
Transcript from a convo with my boss an hour ago:
"Alicia Keys my baby mama." -The boss
"Fool, she's MY baby mama" -His friend
"Nah playa, you can have Brittany Spears"- The boss
"Hell yeah"- His friend
"Dude, Claudia puts the smackdown on all those broads, yo." -Me
**Silence**
"Um, HELL'S YEAH!" -Unison
I actually haven't heard from her in a while, hope she didn't forget...i'm working on a prezzie for her in case she comes, but shh, don't tell. Actually, this is an online journal, what the fuck am I talking about, "shh don't tell." LOL. I'm sleepy, it's 3am.
Good night, may all of your orgasms be multiple.
Today at work was boring as usual, it is getting to be less like a hostess job and more like the 7th circle of hell. This stank ass lady requested like 5,000 bars of soap because she can't get rid of her horrid, acrid stench which causes my eyes to tear everytime she comes to the desk to complain about something. She wants a room with a view of the golden gate bridge and I informed her that no such room exists, to which she just gave me shifty eyes and tartly said "Oh, we'll SEE about that." So then I turned on my gameboy, played Doom and shot a whole bunch of monsters to get my mind off the stank ass lady. She's a jerkface.
I was again accosted by this mack daddy pimp playa who insists on hitting on me even though I have informed him I am 500% gay. He said he asked this chick what my work schedule was so he would know when to come visit me. God, what is this, national stalker month? No means no. I'm gay. When I see a guy, I feel like someone shopping for a desklamp at Ikea. It's there. It's a lamp. And no, I do not wish to fuck it. It's just there. I have nothing against men and I was never sexually abused. It's genetics, fool. Actually when I was 5 this 7 year old Mexican chick would always tell me that if I didn't kiss her on the mouth she'd beat me up, so I always did. Ah, little did she know that ya can't rape the willing. But no, I don't hate men, my friend Steve refers to me as "the penis hater" because he somehow does not understand that not wanting to fuck a guy is not equivalent to hating him. I was in love with a boy once; but only because he was my best friend for 5 years and I loved him for his unique personality. He was an african-american punk/breakdancer that would wear hello kitty purses and nail polish, among other women's accessories. Why does my mother not understand I am gay, my only serious boyfriend wore purses for God's sake. I miss him, I wonder where he is now, I haven' t talked to him in four months. He is the only human being i've encountered who acts the most like me. Last I heard from him, he got permanently kicked out of a mall for stealing a "Wet Floor" sign and putting it on a carpet, which I think is hilarious. He also had an aspiration to be Mr. T and kept walking around saying "Cut yo jibba jabba." He is a wonderful person, and that transcends genders, which makes me love him, but I am not physically attracted to him, and in the one year we were dating, we kissed only twice. Each time, I felt like something wasn't right, it felt like a process, like washing my hands. He talked about marrying me last year but I told him I couldn't go back because without a doubt, I love the ladies, but I wished him well. Where are you Adrian? Have you found that boundless love we've both yearned for since we were kids? I wonder. I hope that you have, that you are making a new girl crack up hysterically with punk rock picnics in the park, holding a greasy sack of McDonald's chicken nuggets in one hand and wearing your brother's uniform jacket that he got from working at food for less. What a beautiful boy you are, with your girly baby tees and sparkly pink rings.
Transcript from a convo with my boss an hour ago:
"Alicia Keys my baby mama." -The boss
"Fool, she's MY baby mama" -His friend
"Nah playa, you can have Brittany Spears"- The boss
"Hell yeah"- His friend
"Dude, Claudia puts the smackdown on all those broads, yo." -Me
**Silence**
"Um, HELL'S YEAH!" -Unison
I actually haven't heard from her in a while, hope she didn't forget...i'm working on a prezzie for her in case she comes, but shh, don't tell. Actually, this is an online journal, what the fuck am I talking about, "shh don't tell." LOL. I'm sleepy, it's 3am.
Good night, may all of your orgasms be multiple.