bionicfemme

Wow. I'm at such a standstill in my life right now.

My dad and I are getting along and making peace. I'm talking to a girl that is hot, intelligent, and not insane. Two of the things I never thought would ever happen in my lifetime are happening at the same time, RIGHT NOW!!!

My dad called last night.

"So...did you get that damn ring out of your nose?" -Dad
"No. And I was really offended when you left that message on my answering machine saying the ring in my nose makes me look like a hog. Could you NOT say things like that anymore?" -Me
"I...I'm sorry. And i'll always love you, even if you have a ring in your nose." -Dad

I'm still getting used to hearing him say that. I mean, here goes a man who's never said that to me in my entire life, and he tells me twice within the span of a week. My mom told me that she was talking to him on the phone a few nights ago and she told him about how I randomly go into the ghettos when i'm bored and buy pizza and soda for the homeless, because I think it's better than giving them money. Besides, I get to connect with them on a much more personal level than I would at a shelter (i've volunteered at those too.) On the street, I get to feed them and talk to them, one on one. I don't have as much time to do it anymore, but I still do it, especially when I feel really down.

So I guess my dad said, "We have a very special girl, don't we?" And I was shocked; my dad has never said anything positive about me in my life. He even said when we were on the phone, "Gosh, I wish I had your talent in writing." I was surprised that he said something like that to me, i'm so used to him putting me down. He's going to submit an article to a lawyers magazine, he's an amateur columnist. I think next time I talk to him, i'll tell him about how I think I got most of my writing ability from him.

In fact, my column will appear in the Bay Area Reporter fairly soon, and i'm really anxious about it. I wish so badly that I could tell my dad that i'm going to make my debut in a paper with a circulation of 30,000, but the topic of the column is queer social issues and I can't tell him i'm gay. My mom says that since he's old and in poor health, me being a lesbian might kill him. And I know he hates lesbians a lot, so that would probably be a bad idea.

We sit around sometimes and he says, "Blah yadda dykes blah, they're all fat and they look like men, with their hairy armpits, they don't shave..." and I turn my head so he can't see me giggling, because he doesn't know his perfumed, lipsticked daughter actually is one.