God! There's too many things in this life I want to see and do, so little time...too many stories to hear and tell!
I was counseling yet another friend tonight. Lately i've become aware of the broken beauty in so many human beings and how pissed off I am that nobody cares, that we are all essentially hairless apes that beat the shit out of each other for the greed of green pieces of paper. No different than chimps who beat the shit out of each other for leaves. We say we're separate from animals because we have the ability to reason, to dream, but we also have the ability to create weapons of mass destruction in order to reinforce which alpha chimp we want to rule us, which one should tell us what we should do, which one should get the most amount of leaves. It's silly, all of it. We're capable, as humans, with our philosophy, aesthetic theories, everything, to do so much more than torture each other.
And here I am babbling incessantly about love daily, ha!
My friend and I were talking about the different fears of death. There is the fear of dying horrifically, the fear of dying and not knowing about the afterlife, the fear of dying and not being remembered. Strangely, my fear has always been that I will die without knowing love. It's odd. Nobody fears that. I wonder why I do. It's not a big issue in the grand scheme of things and it's a rather selfish quest, a combination of the "son" plot of leaving home and battling for victory and the "daughter" plot of waiting for a marriage.
Everything is so forceful, extreme, gung-ho with me. I get taken with you and once seized by strong emotions, rush forward, horns lowered in a head-on charge at a red cape. Cape is pulled. I am vexed. A blade plunged into my neck. The charge begins again, but I don't bleed and I don't die. Odd.
There's too much shit in the world to care about love, it's so stupid. I want to abandon this quest immediately, but it is always important to me...I wish it wasn't. If I could get rid of that yearning in my life, I could concentrate it on somehow really helping other people and doing something significant for humanity. It's so whiny...but i've always known that I was different from other girls in some sort of way, I just don't know if that way is good or will be recognized as good by potential love interests, honesty scares everyone more than lying. We're always made to love the ones who aren't meant for us, which means it sucks to be you if you happen to play the nice guy. Chivalry is a silly, needless thing, so is morality. Apes, right? Isn't romance a simple social construct that makes reproduction intelligible? We wouldn't know love if we washed up on a deserted island at age 3 and had no Hallmark corporations to remind us when Valentine's Day is.
Sigh. LOL in place of actual laughter.
I was counseling yet another friend tonight. Lately i've become aware of the broken beauty in so many human beings and how pissed off I am that nobody cares, that we are all essentially hairless apes that beat the shit out of each other for the greed of green pieces of paper. No different than chimps who beat the shit out of each other for leaves. We say we're separate from animals because we have the ability to reason, to dream, but we also have the ability to create weapons of mass destruction in order to reinforce which alpha chimp we want to rule us, which one should tell us what we should do, which one should get the most amount of leaves. It's silly, all of it. We're capable, as humans, with our philosophy, aesthetic theories, everything, to do so much more than torture each other.
And here I am babbling incessantly about love daily, ha!
My friend and I were talking about the different fears of death. There is the fear of dying horrifically, the fear of dying and not knowing about the afterlife, the fear of dying and not being remembered. Strangely, my fear has always been that I will die without knowing love. It's odd. Nobody fears that. I wonder why I do. It's not a big issue in the grand scheme of things and it's a rather selfish quest, a combination of the "son" plot of leaving home and battling for victory and the "daughter" plot of waiting for a marriage.
Everything is so forceful, extreme, gung-ho with me. I get taken with you and once seized by strong emotions, rush forward, horns lowered in a head-on charge at a red cape. Cape is pulled. I am vexed. A blade plunged into my neck. The charge begins again, but I don't bleed and I don't die. Odd.
There's too much shit in the world to care about love, it's so stupid. I want to abandon this quest immediately, but it is always important to me...I wish it wasn't. If I could get rid of that yearning in my life, I could concentrate it on somehow really helping other people and doing something significant for humanity. It's so whiny...but i've always known that I was different from other girls in some sort of way, I just don't know if that way is good or will be recognized as good by potential love interests, honesty scares everyone more than lying. We're always made to love the ones who aren't meant for us, which means it sucks to be you if you happen to play the nice guy. Chivalry is a silly, needless thing, so is morality. Apes, right? Isn't romance a simple social construct that makes reproduction intelligible? We wouldn't know love if we washed up on a deserted island at age 3 and had no Hallmark corporations to remind us when Valentine's Day is.
Sigh. LOL in place of actual laughter.
mistersatan:
Y'know, I've always said that "the human race is nothing better than apes with credit cards". I know what you mean. But don't give up on love- it'll happen. Chivalry and morality are silly things, but that doesn't stop me from being a gentleman.