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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Monday Oct 28, 2002

Oct 28, 2002
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I'm listening to Prodigy...right after listening to ATR...it seems for the past couple of weeks, I have been so consumed with rage or rants or passion...it's catching up. I'm moving at a thousand miles an hour.

I don't know what's going on. I guess call it being a narcissistic pig, but I want to start doing things that make me happy, for once.

Everything's always for the homeless or the nerds or the outcasts or the homosexuals or the hungry or that girl with "issues" and for once, ONCE I want to do something that will make me happy instead. I guess i'm being selfish...

but fuck. I always figure that crusading for someone else fills the void inside...that my true happiness comes from defending someone else

yet i'd like to have a little solace, a little down time. Just to tell the world to fuck off I bought the sexiest outfit on Haight for no reason today and wasted 100.00 on this sexy punk skirt, a new black button up shirt (ha, like I don't have enough already), a studded belt, a leather bracelet with stars in it, and fishnets that have this lace at the top...perfect for that gothic hooker look. lol.

Yeah, I fell into the trap every American woman does when she gets down. I bought stuff! I never EVER go shopping unless I absolutely have to...I usually waste my money on CD's, vinyl, or books...but hot damn, this outfit looks cute! I kept trying to get some Docs to go with the outfit and no matter where I went, they only had 'em in like, a size 3 or 5. Will somebody please tell me why they only make shoes for people with hooves in SF? I've been trying to buy new shoes so I can wear something OTHER than the black chucks I have been wearing for TWO YEARS!!!!

The skirt is some hot shit. It's dark magenta plaid with black, self-bondage straps and this zipper that goes all the way up the side for a slit. Very cute. Especially with the gothic hooker fishnets. YEAAAAHHH!

They make me look more like a girl and less like a fluffy tomboy...i'm having a very "Are you there God, it's me, Margaret" moment. Maybe for Halloween I will be a woman. lol.

Dia says I am growing into my own and this makes me very happy...even though I think I know more about what I want than most 20 year olds, I am struggling to grow up and be more than just a kid, so Dia noticing this is really a compliment. I am perpetually the baby hedgehog, the precious moments doll, the anime character, the asexual 12 year old Olsen twin and I am trying so hard to grow up and not be "cute," but be like the big girls. Y'know, the sassy ones.

Blah...I don't want someone to pet my head. I want someone to...pet something else! Hahaha!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
Hey, becoming a grownup is a real hassle- I'm still working on it myself. wink
Oct 29, 2002
quijybo:
that outfit sounds hot. you should take pictures. wink
are your chucks black on black, or black on white? i have black on black. i'm so goth, i can't even have white on my shoes.
anyway, it's fun to embrace one's femininity. the key is to mix it up a bit. i'm typically a jeans or slacks type of girl with some kind of cute slightly boyish top and a belt (sometimes spikey), however, i try and dress up and go out once a week. it is somehow very fulfilling. maybe i just like it because it is like playing dress up, and i can pretend i'm sexy and dangerous for a bit.
mm gothic hooker lolita look.
seriously, a balance of cute and sexy is the way to go...
Oct 29, 2002

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