bionicfemme

Hmm...so what happened today? Went shopping with Julia and Allie. Bought a fabulous eyeshadow named "Goddess" and a great lipgloss called "Love Junkie" from Urban Decay. Finally, makeup shades that fit my personality. lol.

Got into a minor skirmish with Allie...she has a lot of chemical imbalances so she sometimes erupts in bitchiness, right? Usually I overlook these outbursts because I realize they aren't her fault, but this time, she took it too far. I was telling her about some girl in high school that would eat whole sacks of meat and just carry them around with her like everything was normal, and everybody called her the meat girl. So one time I go "Oh, you're the one they call the meat girl" and as she dips her hand in a sack of salami she says "Why does everybody call me that?" and I just thought it was a funny story because it was weird.

So then Allie says, "Why did you have to make fun of her? She couldn't help it." and I go "Well, I didn't think I was making fun of her, I was just pointing out that people called her the meat girl. And if you walk around with sacks of salami and turkey, people are going to comment on it" and she says,

"Oh. Well then maybe you shouldn't be a lesbian."

Bad, bad idea to say this to me. So it's like waving a red flag. I yell "I can't FUCKING help it if I like girls, alright??? But I WOULD be able to help shoving sacks of meat in my face!" and then she says "Well maybe you shouldn't have spikey hair either."

At this point, I am seething over. I feel like bringing up the fact she is horribly overweight and commenting on her many many syndromes and disorders to hurt her and make her cry. But then I figure that this is just cruel and that would make me Satan's lapdancer, to say such things would cut her open. So I force myself to not say one word, or else I will become so vicious I will definitely hurt her.

"I'd like to go home now." I tell Julia. And I walk out of the room before I have a chance to morph into an evil bitch woman from hell with all of my rage. I don't think Allie realized the magnitude of what she said. I've lost all of my friends back home for being gay, and one half of my family either hates me or thinks i'm some raving pervert. It's not easy to be a lesbian (even if it's REALLY fun.)

And when you do go through with coming out to the world, you have to make absolutely sure that you really love women, because chances are that you're going to lose a LOT of friends and respect from your family, so you'd better feel it's worth it. And I do. I don't regret it. I know this sounds horrible, but dicks scare the fuck out of me and I don't ever ever EVER want to touch one or have one get near me. Sorry to the boys who read this, but I don't want a dick in me any more than you want one in your ass, you know?

So later she left a message on my answering machine apologizing, which is good of her. I'm glad she realized what she did was wrong. I forgive her. But she'd better not even think of saying shit like that again to me, or we won't be friends at all.

Hmm...time to celebrate my dykedom, maybe i'll roam over to Josie's and seduce her or something. Good times. And yes I really do want to seduce her, I want crazy animal love with that woman and don't even know why. Night night kids.