billybillybilly

used to think, now and again, that i'm a vampire. but that's not true. i am a wolf. i am the wolf in the book about the girl with the red cloak. oddly enough, i'm also the girl.

odder still, i'm also the cloak.

things cycled themselves and the world is pensive, i'm pensive. what a phenominal word.

i get in certain moods and i want to be that person who picks up on everyone else's secrets, those hidden little joys that they reserve and don't say aloud. i want to pick up on those things, and then i want to give them according gifts.

thanks all, thank you for being with me during all of this fucking insanity. i've gone down a waterfall, and i've hit the bottom, and i've come up out of the water gasping and my lungs are worse, but i have a smile on and it wears worn and pretty.

* * * * *

scene opens on Wednesday, January 5th. jokingly i ask mike if he wants to get drunk. when he asks if i'm serious, i realize i am, so i do. before arriving at Taiko's apartment, i stop off to hang out with Danielle.

night 1: first time. good vibes, pensively missing a piece of myself, but with minimal expectation. Judas, Smitty, contrast, Taiko, Rylie, and mike.

night 2: dinner with friends, the ending of a soiree in an apartment, and this would have been the lightest. wrote something (that no one will ever read, most likely) in hopes of igniting something in me that i'd lost for a while. on the way out the door, i have a realization. trying to stay calm, finish watching a movie. drive home ragged, torn up.

night 3: can't remember too much, but i'm pretty sure i was at home by myself. drinking alone. it happens.

night 4: started out drunk at home. slept it off. made a lot of phone calls(?). got up, went to dinner. should've gone to choice afterward, didn't make it. home again, crown/coke. then over to market bbq, cosmopolitan, robitussin flavor. trashed. figlio with Taiko, Trixie and ViolentlyHappy. bad wine, some beer, some cran/vodka. underage consumption. true romance. at home, trying to sleep, but i got a text message.

night 5: one could classifie this as THE night. choice, club. chaing mai thai with Taiko (sober driver), keegan, and forrest. then i went to the newsroom, something stiff, fruity, and blue. i don't remember many details, but i remember 4 things. i made a phone call. i wrote an e-mail. i made calls to several other people. i was out of my head with a lot of different thoughts, falling apart, and feeling very deserted. also, i revealed a secret and instantly regretted it. betrayed someone's trust.

night 6: drunk at home. alone. posting and being a general idiot.

night 7: chuck e. cheese, sober for that. lyle's. 2 for 1's. didn't take much, neodrunk, Judas, tinyE, cirrus, fuck... i'm forgetting someone.

night 8: started at home. crown/coke. moved to the bbq. straight bar with my out-of-his-element co-worker jaime in tow with myself, keegan, and roomie. vodka/cran. home. bad sleep.

night 9: tonight.

well, it was actually last night.

and what happened?

fuck.

lots of drinking which led to lots of me:












and a pretty swell headache at work. that was fun.

anyway, it was contrast and myself at lyle's, taking it easy. had a really good buzz when Mel1027 showed up. then he forced a bunch of alcohol down my throat and made me vomit in the bathroom voilently. it wasn't his fault, but i choose to blame him for it.



so that's it kiddos.

nine night bender. my way of breaking myself into the world of drinking and all the merriment. what have you...