Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

billybillybilly

Vietnam

Member Since 2004

Followers 151 Following 188

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Dec 26, 2004

Dec 26, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Can't even remember how long ago it was, but it was cold like it is now.

County Road 13, less than a mile outside of Ada, MN. Driving through at night, crossing this for the first time since


She said her kid dropped something. Three of them in the van, the middle or older one in the front with her, she looked down to pick whatever-it-was up and that's when she crossed the intersection and collided with the passenger side of the sedan. It only took a second or two and that's how it usually is but

the wind...

cries...

mary...



Jimi Hendrix, playing at the end of it's last chorus as my car shook and trees bent inward and I tuned into 107.5, tears welling up. Meredith Reynolds. One of the hardest numbers I've ever erased.

At the funeral the next day I broke down for the second time, in the aisle walking toward a casket I couldn't look into, then did, then broke. I approached and decided it was just better if I could hold it in, later I would let it happen.

Never had met her parents, but as I'm walking up everyone's hugging them and they're hugging everyone or shaking hands and I walk up and her mother can see my eyes red and my face is flushed and maybe a little swollen. I'm looking at her and she takes my hands and she tells me, assures me, that I will be okay. I will get past this. This is not the end of anything.

Hugs me, I step over to her father who doesn't drop a beat just embraces me. I put my face in his shoulder and he whispers in my ear,

"She always said you were a good friend."



I think about that every time I drive home.

*

I thought about a lot of things while I was home. The flat landscape has a tendency to push a person inward, to become reclusive. Trees dotting the fields like spikes and during winter like spines picketing a blanket and it could only be more perfect with ravens in the branches.

Nothing watches you, and people listen so they can relate your story to others later as if they were their own and that makes them special to live your life vicariously.

I had a good time at times, and then I left, and it's just better that way.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
parks:
I'm glad there are people that love their families. I also hate my hometown, the longer I stay away the more I hate going back.
Dec 29, 2004
shanana:
I'm back... missed you kiss
Dec 29, 2004

More Blogs

  • 01.13.05
    22

    Thursday Jan 13, 2005

    used to think, now and again, that i'm a vampire. but that's not tru…
  • 01.12.05
    25

    Wednesday Jan 12, 2005

    searching harder this time, want to find real love. gotta increase m…
  • 01.11.05
    20

    Tuesday Jan 11, 2005

    UPDATE: wednesday, 2:04am - you can understand that i went to sleep …
  • 01.10.05
    1

    Monday Jan 10, 2005

    sometime in two thousand, maybe just before. there was a lot of sn…
  • 01.07.05
    27

    Saturday Jan 08, 2005

    Update, Monday, 10:40 - Binge Count, 5 nights. Last night and the ni…
  • 01.06.05
    17

    Thursday Jan 06, 2005

    absence (in association with alcohol) makes the heart grow fonder.
  • 01.05.05
    46

    Wednesday Jan 05, 2005

    Read More
  • 01.03.05
    14

    Monday Jan 03, 2005

    | THREE OF THEM | what were we up to there... it was over $250 was…
  • 12.31.04
    12

    Friday Dec 31, 2004

    I have a personality not unlike Jello. That is to say, that rather t…
  • 12.30.04
    10

    Friday Dec 31, 2004

    Benni danced while we all gawked. Tegan showed me around the Mall …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

25
years
1
month
18
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,714 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 15,163,098 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,909,670 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | Safety Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2026

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo
logo

This is an adult website.

You must be at least 18 years old to enter. Click below to confirm.

Cookies must be enabled to use the site and save your age confirmation.

Exit