My phone now turns all incoming text messages into a garbled mess. The same garbled mess every time, in fact. And it says they are all from my stalker, Elena. At first I thought her phone was the messed up one, but NO. So anyway, if you want to reach me, you'll have to settle for old-fashioned phone calls or email or something.
And FUCK, I missed Seagal.
FUCK.
And FUCK, I missed Seagal.
FUCK.