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biggiemolls

Member Since 2009

Followers 3 Following 4

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Monday May 04, 2009

May 4, 2009
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I feel like writing.

People come and go your entire life. There is no stopping it. There is no way to predict what will happen tomorrow. I hear it in a song or get the message from a film or a conversation with a friend. Things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. Nothing is that dramatic and life-changing. I like the way I see things. I like that small bits of happiness strung together can mean so much.

But maybe I'm too deep. Maybe being a little surfacy would help my game. I truly despise how much of a control freak I am. Its a trait I never thought I'd have. If I'm not aware of every single aspect of my surroundings at all times, I freak out. I panic as if there is something wrong. And there most likely isn't, 90% of the time.

I want to be happy. I want to live worry-free. Impossible, I know. But lately I've been causing half of my problems. Instead of chilling out and enjoying my time, I overthink it. Into oblivion. Wherein I can't drag myself out of my head. Alcohol, drugs, love...nothing helps.

Narcissism is so unattractive. Every person in the world is alone (sad sounding, huh) and everybody has problems and head trips. Its arrogant to believe that I'm alone in having troubles. Not arrogant, naive.

I want to know everything. And see everything. And I'm a liar, because I'm too afraid to do anything.

Stream of consciousness, please excuse me. bok

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