bigblack81

Normally I write more but this is all that needs to be said:

1. I don't want to be in limbo about where I'm going to live and I don't want to be in limbo about where I'm going to work.
2. I hate that this all is happening like this in my life. I didn't want to be a midnight refugee again.
3. I don't like Amber right now and I think that the less we see of one another will be the better. I'm tired of feeling like I'm just a renter in this little house of shit.
4. Work is still killing me and I'm beginning to not care about the wenches who work there with me. I'm beginning to hate most women again for their neurotic bullshit and that's not good either. I don't want to hate but I'm not sure right now if I want to love.
5. I'm lonely and miss Tammy a lot. I miss her and want to talk to her again before I leave.
6. I'm scared. Yet again I'm moving under the cover of night and I'm scared. I'm scared that once again I'm leaving without any control over my situation.
7. So tired is my soul right now. So hungry is my stomach. So yearing for someone to hold me and tell me that it'll get better. But I'll get little, if any, of that so I should just suck it up and go on.

I'll be losing the internet and my cable at the end of this week so unless I write one last entry, which I should, by mid Thursday my internet will go silent. This will be the last you guys read of me for a while and I'm not happy about that. What will, in fact, suck more is the fact that from Friday until the end of the month, I'll basically have nothing to do except go to work, pack the house and sleep. *sigh* Perhaps it's for the best. I was going to stay up and do more things but I'm all depressed and shit. So for now, goodbye.