bergmala

i keep getting this feeling that there's no real point to anything that i've done. i've worked with sam goody since ninety-nine, well, the majority of that time. what have i accomplished out of that, other than selling a lot of stuff for my company, moving to houston and getting prepared to move back to abilene. i don't even know if i'm going back with sam goody, so what would i of accomplished after spending all that time with this company? i'll basically throw away everything that i put into it, if there's no open space at that store, or if it closes down.
my girlfriend told me one of her friends confessed to liking her a lot. that scares me since i'm here in houston and she's back in abilene. i'm not capable of being there for her, and distance is really good at tearing people apart that don't want to be torn apart. there's plenty of time in there for her to become connected with someone else, while her and i continue to disconnect because of the distance between us. i know it wouldn't be anything malicious, and i wouldn't hate her for it, but i still wouldn't be able to talk to her. she say's that she's stopped hanging out with him, that he got creepy. that makes me wonder if that's what the girls, that i liked, thought after i told them i liked them. i guess that doesn't matter though, we're still each others, so there's nothing to worry about.
i tend to worry a lot though. i put several things together, from the last few days, that had me on the verge of tears, thinking she was going to break up with me. once i start putting things together, no matter how unlikely they are to be true or possibly connected, my mind starts building on it until it is truth.
i'm tired, and i have to open tomorrow. no one knows about this anyway.