bepps

I don't think I've said it before, but kids, I love my momma. She's neat. There was a time when I was closin on 18 years old n thought I was all types o punk rock. Which maybe I was. But during it I held a less than optimal view of my mom. I loved the institution of "momma", the woman who whacked my tushey when I was bad when I was a wee pup, but once I learned who she was I found all these flaws with her and, for some really weird reason I focused on those (I always always try and focus on the best aspects that people have. it's really weird if I try and focus on the negative ones) Because of that we had some differences.

Now that I'm a bit older I look back on those views and laugh. I laugh at myself for having them. I laugh at myself for focusing on them. Above all I laugh at myself for even acknowledging their existence. I laugh at myself for failing to see all the great qualities that she has and focusing on the minor behaviors, as temporary as they were, that seemed so important at the time.

That's one thing that, in my years of living, has really beat itself well into my view of what I've seen. How any time you seem to have a negative outlook on someone, how that view always ends up having roots in something really dumb. Something really temporary. The view always seems to have roots in a few single events that, while they always seem so important at the time, with time they always end up being some of the most insignificant events in your life. They always make you think you were retarded for ever even looking at it, let alone allowing it to interfere with a friendship that might have had really deep and lasting affects on your life.

What really sucks is I see that view casted upon many people here on SG. And I see a whole slew of friendships destroyed because of it. Freindships that could have yeilded much happiness. Friendships that could have, at minimum, yeilded a great party.

But really, this aint nothin new. This ain't nothin that hasn't happened to millions of people, all over the place for god knows how long, who've surely had their own hand in your own life. Spose it's not nothin' worth worrying about huh? Might as well just pay attention to those you got in your life now that you enjoy being around, eh?

Oh, and by the way, Fortunately I never told my momma that i saw her in a bad light long ago. So our relationship never really deteriorated and she's still with me today. And now that I've grown past all that retardedness we've still got a strong relationship. We still both love eachother very much and will do so until death. If only everyone could do that.