Ive decided to take credit for other peoples accomplishments. Its a much easier way to be happy. Rather than working to accomplish anything myself Ill just bask in other peoples accomplishments. I dont know why I didnt do this before. Most people will tell you to hang around losers that make you feel better about yourself. I think its better to hang around people who are better than you, and suck up to them, and hopefully jump onto their bandwagon. I read somewhere that when they were on Saturday Night Live together, Eddie Murphys phenomenal success went to Joe Piscapos head. I think Joe was onto something.
In keeping with this new plan of action, Ive recently made friends with a girl named Victoria. Victoria is a Princeton graduate. She was Miss New Jersey in 2000. Shes leant her time to several charities and shes eternally cheerful. Shes a perfect person in whose reflected glory I would like to bask. Her only drawback, I think, is that her perpetually sunny outlook makes her easy prey. She just moved to New York and I felt it was my duty to protect her.
Recently I was having dinner with Victoria. Earlier that day she and a friend were discussing their need to find an apartment while on the subway (Victoria is currently living in a one bedroom with 6 other people). As they were talking, some guy who was obviously listening to them pipes in. He tells them that he's looking to sublet HIS place and asks Victoria to come by that night. This all sounded a little shady to me, but Victoria planned to go to his apartment right after dinner. So as her self-appointed protector, I tell her that if she wants to go I'll go with her because- in my mind at least- Victoria is exactly the type of person who could be lured into the unibomber's shack because she's so sweet and trusting (It LOOKED like a cute little cabin...).
So we go. It's on 53rd and 1st. Nice building. Doorman, beautiful lobby, ect. We go to the apartment and I meet Mr. John Thomas- the Guy From The Train. John Thomas is on the phone as he opens the door and excuses himself to go into the kitchen.. area... to finish the conversation. It's a really small studio. Victoria turns to me and whispers "Well, what do YOU think?"
"It's fine I guess" I reply. "It may be a bit small for two, but it can work. Maybe." (Victoria plans to move in with some girl who was Miss Idaho or something.)
"I'm SO glad you came," she says "Because I didn't know if the guy really wanted to show me the apartment or get a date with me or not. I just don't know about these things."
"Well, now that I've seen him, I don't think he was hitting on you, " I say.
"Why?"
"I think he's gay."
-gasp!
"REALLY? How do you know?"
On cue (I swear) John Thomas walks in and says "Sorry about the phone call. I write show-tunes and that was someone I'm interested in working with."
Some stereotypes die hard, I guess.
So he shows us around the studio apartment ("Well this is the place...Um.... I have a closet over here...")
So THEN he says (to Victoria, although he's watching ME the whole time.) "I really didn't mean to eavesdrop on the train earlier, but I also heard you saying that you sing. What kind of singing do you do?"
"Well I'm operatically trained"(Of course), "but I sing all sorts of stuff."
John Thomas's face brightens. He runs to the piano and says, "Well this is what I'm working on now. It's about a cynical, jaded piano player and the girl who sings with him in the nightclub. I'll teach it to you"
And with that he proceeds to SING a number from the show-tune he's working on. "I've got 8 fingers and two thumbs/ Ive got all the chicks and I know all the dough/ But I can't let you go/ and why that is I don't know"
Then he says to Victoria "YOUR part goes like this..." and sings it and soon they're singing an honest-to-God DUET in this studio apartment. Belting it out!
And I'M sitting on the couch thinking "This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen!"
And they're REALLY getting into it! And he starts directing her. And he's SINGING the directions while still playing. "Your character is a bit of a tease/ brings the men to their knees!"
"You've got 8 fingers and 2 thumbs..." belts Victoria.
"But I can't let you go", belts John.
"No you CAN'T let me go"
"But why I don't know"
"No you don't KNOW!"
When they finished I wondered "Do I applaud?"
In the end Victoria didn't take the place. Or a part in the show. But if you ever see a show on Broadway about a jaded piano player and the girl he loves, just know that I was there when it all began.
In keeping with this new plan of action, Ive recently made friends with a girl named Victoria. Victoria is a Princeton graduate. She was Miss New Jersey in 2000. Shes leant her time to several charities and shes eternally cheerful. Shes a perfect person in whose reflected glory I would like to bask. Her only drawback, I think, is that her perpetually sunny outlook makes her easy prey. She just moved to New York and I felt it was my duty to protect her.
Recently I was having dinner with Victoria. Earlier that day she and a friend were discussing their need to find an apartment while on the subway (Victoria is currently living in a one bedroom with 6 other people). As they were talking, some guy who was obviously listening to them pipes in. He tells them that he's looking to sublet HIS place and asks Victoria to come by that night. This all sounded a little shady to me, but Victoria planned to go to his apartment right after dinner. So as her self-appointed protector, I tell her that if she wants to go I'll go with her because- in my mind at least- Victoria is exactly the type of person who could be lured into the unibomber's shack because she's so sweet and trusting (It LOOKED like a cute little cabin...).
So we go. It's on 53rd and 1st. Nice building. Doorman, beautiful lobby, ect. We go to the apartment and I meet Mr. John Thomas- the Guy From The Train. John Thomas is on the phone as he opens the door and excuses himself to go into the kitchen.. area... to finish the conversation. It's a really small studio. Victoria turns to me and whispers "Well, what do YOU think?"
"It's fine I guess" I reply. "It may be a bit small for two, but it can work. Maybe." (Victoria plans to move in with some girl who was Miss Idaho or something.)
"I'm SO glad you came," she says "Because I didn't know if the guy really wanted to show me the apartment or get a date with me or not. I just don't know about these things."
"Well, now that I've seen him, I don't think he was hitting on you, " I say.
"Why?"
"I think he's gay."
-gasp!
"REALLY? How do you know?"
On cue (I swear) John Thomas walks in and says "Sorry about the phone call. I write show-tunes and that was someone I'm interested in working with."
Some stereotypes die hard, I guess.
So he shows us around the studio apartment ("Well this is the place...Um.... I have a closet over here...")
So THEN he says (to Victoria, although he's watching ME the whole time.) "I really didn't mean to eavesdrop on the train earlier, but I also heard you saying that you sing. What kind of singing do you do?"
"Well I'm operatically trained"(Of course), "but I sing all sorts of stuff."
John Thomas's face brightens. He runs to the piano and says, "Well this is what I'm working on now. It's about a cynical, jaded piano player and the girl who sings with him in the nightclub. I'll teach it to you"
And with that he proceeds to SING a number from the show-tune he's working on. "I've got 8 fingers and two thumbs/ Ive got all the chicks and I know all the dough/ But I can't let you go/ and why that is I don't know"
Then he says to Victoria "YOUR part goes like this..." and sings it and soon they're singing an honest-to-God DUET in this studio apartment. Belting it out!
And I'M sitting on the couch thinking "This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen!"
And they're REALLY getting into it! And he starts directing her. And he's SINGING the directions while still playing. "Your character is a bit of a tease/ brings the men to their knees!"
"You've got 8 fingers and 2 thumbs..." belts Victoria.
"But I can't let you go", belts John.
"No you CAN'T let me go"
"But why I don't know"
"No you don't KNOW!"
When they finished I wondered "Do I applaud?"
In the end Victoria didn't take the place. Or a part in the show. But if you ever see a show on Broadway about a jaded piano player and the girl he loves, just know that I was there when it all began.
VIEW 25 of 54 COMMENTS
yea i have read steal this book. woodstock nation was always my favourite though... i was a weird kid.
I don't know about ever doing a real photo set....I haven't really worked with many photographers and...well...I don't feel that comftorable getting naked in front of the camera....I did the whole apply to SG thing, but there must be something about me that isn't SG-worthy....that's perfectly ok (if I want to be a teacher)....
I'm not really sure what I'll do while I'm in LA....definitely visit Hollywood and check out the veggie places....maybe go to an SG event if they have one....hang out at the beach....simple stuff....