becomingx

CHAINSMOKER

These sweet, smouldering tidbits,
bringing my fingers to touch my lips
as I destroy them with each breath,
and destroy myself on each exhale.
The blue tinged halos that escape my mouth,
unintentionally even,
sometimes moving so slowly
I think they were made on purpose to woo me
back for more.
The kind of sashay they make as they travel through the air,
so beautiful,
and how they I allow their pollution
in exchange for this burlesque affair.
This cock tease.
If I had the wherewithal to have an erection,
it would be over this.
I draw the heat in every time,
closer and closer to my face.
I bask in it.
My own endless summer
in the heat I attract with a soft and simple death-wish.
Planting their toxic seeds, ensuring that
one day I will be the picture of self inflicted pain.
The comforting click click woosh of my zippo,
and here we go again...